hey,
its been awhile since i last blogged in here... many kinds of feelings as i post this entry... hmm read someone's blog and although now me and her are not in contact anymore, i still feel that her blog entries are very realistic and to the extend pointing to the realities of life...
and so..
should i follow what she says... or should i follow what my heart feels..
and give it all up... ?
i dont know...
i have this feeling that my life is going down...
like everyday's very meaningless now... im trying my best to make my dreams work out...but somehow all the bad luck i have is coming to me all the same time... stifling me, strangling me, making me unable to breathe...
im unable to concentrate on my studies...
like those negative thoughts just keep flowing into my brain....
birthday is coming... but yet im nt exactly excited about it like every other year -.-''
every year i jus wish that someone i love can be with me to celebrate it..
but every other year... im disappointed...
year after year...
plan after plan..
i jus feel.... maybe its not meant to be...
i told some1 that i feel that im a control freak... and when things go out of control... i freak out... i really dont knw why are things happening this way between me and her and maybe the others... maybe im just not gd enough for you all... i tried to reflect what went wrong and what did i do wrong... i jus cant seem to know what i did wrong... i mean if i did wrong, i really deserve the treatment... but i dont deserve this kinda treatment...
i really dont..
after what i did for you...
for your birthday....
i really hope u remember what i did for you...
and take into consideration my feelings ...
P.S. Xinen is bugging me to blog that shes mature but......
NOT SO FAST MAN!!!! =X
我们之间会不会有转机？？
mood: sad
Listening to: 潘伟伯- 转机
fisherman's fren: leo ranted @
11:27 PM
11:27 PM
