Leo's crib

its been ages man.

2011-12-21T03:05:00.003+08:00

guess nobody actually comes in and read my posts anymore,
but who cares?
i still do.

i come in once in a while to read on my old post n reminisce on the past. Many years have passed by already, the scenes still etched clearly on my mind.
i dunno why i still think of "her" at times.

Attended weiyang's birthday bash last week at Costa sands resort in Pasir Ris, saw her clique there. I really dunno what to talk to them about. Luckily i had buddy Huiqing with me, as well as Zhenyi.

anyway,
its late n i have to work later so i gotta hit the sacks !!!

nitey nites!

mood: a-okay!
Listening to: Kim Gunmo - wrongful meeting

my conscience is clear.

2010-10-09T15:11:00.002+08:00

我问心无愧。。

开不了口让你知道。

2010-10-04T13:48:00.001+08:00

才离开没多久就开始
担心今天的你过得好不好
整个画面是你
想你想的睡不着
嘴嘟嘟那可爱的模样
还有在你身上香香的味道
我的快乐是你想你想的都会笑
没有你在我有多难熬
(没有你在我有多难熬多烦恼)
没有你烦我有多烦恼
(没有你烦我有多烦恼多难熬)
穿过云层我试着努力向你奔跑
爱才送到你却已在别人怀抱
就是开不了口让她知道
我一定会呵护着你也逗你笑
你对我有多重要
我后悔没让你知道
安静的听你撒娇
看你睡着一直到老
就是开不了口让她知道
就是那么简单几句我办不到
整颗心悬在半空
我只能够远远看着
这些我都做得到
但那个人已经不是我

mood: Missing you.
Listening to: 周杰伦-开不了口

hmm

2010-09-15T23:48:00.005+08:00

i havent been updating for awhile now already...
but i really need to blog about some kinda feelings in here..
something that i cant post in FB.

I wanna say...im glad we're talkin again..
i will give my best to keep our friendship together.
i hope you believe in me like before..
please also try to make it like before, will ya?

hee...
i wanna tell you.. but i guess its not the right time.
but believe me.
i never will hurt you ... i will let the pain subside.

mood: betta
Listening to: 4men- baby baby.

yoga - 说谎。

2010-04-12T03:01:00.001+08:00

是有过几个不错对象
说起来并不寂寞孤单
可能我浪荡让人家不安
才会结果都阵亡

我没有什黱阴影魔障
你千万不要放在心上
我又不脆弱何况那算什黱伤
反正爱情不就都这样

我没有说谎我何必说谎
你懂我的我对你从来就不会假装
我哪有说谎请别以为你有多难忘
笑是真的不是我逞强

我好久没来这间餐厅
没想到已经换了装潢
角落那窗口闻得到玫瑰花香
被你一说是有些印象

我没有说谎我何必说谎
你知道的我缺点之一就是很健忘
我哪有说谎是很感谢今晚的相伴
但我竟然有些不习惯

我没有说谎我何必说谎
爱一个人没爱到难道就会怎黱样
别说我说谎人生已经如此地艰难
有些事情就不要拆穿

我没有说谎是爱情说谎
它带你来骗我说渴望的有可能有希望
我没有说谎祝你做个幸福的新娘
我的心事请你就遗忘

update....

2010-03-16T02:29:00.004+08:00

hey!
its been awhile since i last update in leonarddranoel.bs. com..... well anyway... these few mths busy with work cos CNY period... always the busiest period for FB, mitju n camou. These few months really slogged out for FB... however got some feelings that Im not happy about... Dont know why .. but after so many years of putting in effort.. i would have expected them to appreciate and be aware of my efforts. Despite everything i've done... maybe its still not enuff to them...and that they cant trust me in more important tasks... That i will never know...

on a happier note.. 我毕业了！！！！
真开心。。我真的做到了。之前，我还有一点怀疑我对自己的肯定。。我那时压力很大很大，好多事情要烦，很想逃离那时的情景。。但是终于做到了！！！

但是，
因为毕业了，让我感受到不同的压力。现在家人一直问我几时才会找份工作。我感觉到很烦。。因为我要考虑到好多好多，你们可不可以给我一个人去处理，好烦好烦好烦。。。每天在想这个问题。最近也遇到了和朋友或同事之间的不满和不愉快。。但是我会振作起来，一定为自己而奋斗，不让关心我的人失望。。

"目标就在眼前，为何我却得不到。我上不去也下不了。。左右为难。。。 =（ "

Mood: ok lor.
Listening to: 罗志祥- 爱不单行

深夜两点。。

2009-11-30T02:07:00.002+08:00

现在是凌晨两点，
还没睡，，不知道几时，这讨厌的失眠症会就此离开。
今天是星期日，
也是我的 off day!
整天在家里没出门的感觉还蛮不错，弄得我下个星期都不怎么想开工
很久没看到她了
真的会想到她。。
起初跟自己说一定要坚持，一定要把她忘了。
不知道为何，谈的容易，做起来却难得要命。。。
虽然都过了那么久，我对她的感情却一点都没少，没变过。

近期以来一直在听那首《一首情歌》，其实那首歌，蔡淳佳也有一个版本，不一样的词，但一样是李盈盈写的曲。。好好听，但还是prefer 盈盈的版本，歌词也蛮符合我现在的心情。。

“伤心指数，不是你能监督，
只是我听了一首情歌太多感触”

"有时我宁愿我是画中的那个人，起码不用愁生活的七情六欲"

mood: okay 啦
Listening to: 李盈盈-一首情歌

不开心。

2009-11-24T01:11:00.004+08:00

最近真的很不开心，
也一直在逃避。。。
Sunday在 vivocity 看到我的好朋友 mint 。
她说我在blog里写的东西都很悲伤。
我觉得啦，这里真的是一个能让我发泄的地方。
有时真的不知道怎样，
就会在这儿写写。

FB Central 不久后就要关了，
好多的不舍得，
因为那里可以算是我第二个家。。。
在那里哭过，笑过，
在那里苦过，爽过，relax过。
也是在central认识到她，在那喜欢上她，为她庆祝生日，

好多好多的回忆，
没办法，
生活就是这样，
那些回忆永远都会在我心里。
谢谢FBcentral, 给了我一个避风港。一个温暖的第二个家。。

"我的心情只能用写的，开不了口"

心情：怀念
正收听：周杰伦-开不了口

Save me from ur mind fucking.

2009-11-15T22:11:00.003+08:00

真的够了，
我好想跟你说，够了，
我不能再这样下去。不能再为你的犹豫在等下去。
付出有时不会有回报。
但没有工也有劳。
对你付出的一切，
我不会后悔，我只后悔为什么会一脚载进去
也后悔为什么我无法自拔　

" 如果我能把手表上的时间调会从前，我会调到认识你之前，然后另外在走一条路。"

Mood: hurt.
Listening to: Lee Ein Ein- Yi Shou Qing Ge

p.s. 记得这只手表是你替我选的。。　=..(

sighs..

2009-11-08T23:40:00.002+08:00

what did i do wrong..
am i heading in the right direction?

who can show me the right way,
the way to bliss, happiness..
dont wanna head to destruction..self destruction that is..

Some ppl get away from rships and start a new one without feeling for the other party.
but it seems so easy?! issit really THAT easy?
its so hard for me to breakaway..
to breakaway from you...

"will someone take me to the right direction?"

mood: =(
Listening to: Jam Hsiao Jing Teng- 会痛的石头

a test of love...

2009-11-02T23:46:00.004+08:00

lazy to type in chinese already..
let this be a change for awhile..

hmm

i wonder whats wrong?
am i waivering?
is my heart tinkering?
u sms-ed me this morning.....i was estactic...but i wasnt entirely thinkin bout you..
i wished it was you that i was thinkin about..

maybe because i dont know what you are thinking
maybe its because im guessing whether your feelings for me are real..
maybe someone else is starting to fill my heart?
lotsa maybes....
lotsa possibilities...
but i dont know...

i guess no..
I'm not gonna let these negative thoughts fill me again..
you're still the one...
really...
although we may never be..
but i really wish someday...
a miracle would help us be..

"wonder what would it say bout me?
fickle? romantic? passionate? "

mood: Lost
Listening to: Shania Twain- You're still the one

孤独一人在central.

2009-10-29T02:42:00.003+08:00

今天，我又在central 自己做工了，
不是不好啦，但是自己做工有时会令我想很多，
不该想的都想，
该想的也想，
没有东西想也想，
有东西也想，
头是否会变大呢？
哈哈。。。我觉得会wor...

我一直想着她，
还想不通我为何还在被她“block”?
不管了。。

下个月，就要在公司担任新的责任，
有点期待，但带有一点的害怕，担心，犹豫。
我害怕自己没有想象中的好，
我担心对不起那些对我期望高的人，更担心对不起自己。
我犹豫这个责任是否会影响我的人生计划。。。
好多的犹豫。。。

别想那么多。。。

突然好想念兰春。。。 =（
你在吉林过的好吗？
你走了那么久，都没联络我们。。
还记得我吗？

"如果这副眼镜能让我看见我的未来，
那该多好。"

mood: confused
Listening to: 杨培安-我的未来不是梦

失望。。

2009-10-23T23:58:00.007+08:00

最近我的blog好 “act一个”
好失望，
不知为何感觉到不开心，
我应该不去管那么多，不去在乎她所说的东西。
但是不知道为什么，
我好在乎。。
我不能把她说的东西不听进去。。
她所说的东西。。
我都很在乎。。。

"我一直在等，等你有一天会打我的电话，
说你要和我一起出门。。"

mood: disappointed
Listening to: S.H.E - 说你爱我。

好想回到过去。。

2009-10-22T23:57:00.005+08:00

今天，
又回到了工作岗位。。感觉有点怪怪的。。
但又蛮开心可以在做我喜欢做的事情，

很多人今天不怎么开心，
好多的烦恼，
包括我，
我的烦恼一直存在。。
不懂为什么。。。　很难脱离。。

但我任然还是希望我周围的朋友们，
都能开开心心，船到桥头自然直。。　
不要不开心!

"有时真的想回到过去！
如果这个电梯可以把我带回到以前，
那该多好。。"

mood: ok
Listening to: 周杰伦－回到过去

花茶，书和娱乐。。

2009-10-22T01:33:00.006+08:00

昨天是读书之日！
哈哈。。。
因为今天考试，所以就做乖孩子，
努力读书，为今天的一百个mcq 考试做准备。

到了一个cafe, 是欣恩介绍的，
好安静，好舒服，
是一个很好的读书地方，也是个很好的chillout place.

anyway,
最近一直在youtube 首看日本的搞笑综艺节目。
是超好笑的 can?
看到他们一直忍着不笑，笑了又被打，简直是好难忍。。哈哈

当然，也少不了在看我们本土的音乐天才。
突然觉得音乐是一个很奇妙的东西。
一首歌可以代表好多好多心里想的东西，
而且有很美妙的表达方式，
有时真的好想再弹琴，
如果可以，也想学会写歌。。。

有一个plan
希望有天可以实现。。。
祝我好运！！谢了！

mood: 还好
Listening to: 李盈盈- 一首情歌

miserable... =..(

2009-10-15T23:48:00.003+08:00

突然觉得很沮丧，
觉得我什么都没有，
那天我到parco去找你，和你聊聊。

我怎么感觉到我们对彼此的关心？
你过后传了个sms给我。
这感觉，好像我们以前那样！
我们能回到从前吗？

如果我等你，你会接受我吗？
我每一晚在那里都会在睡前想你，
真的好喜欢你，
我很难把你忘掉，很难放弃你。。

又要考试了，好害怕，
害怕我不及格，
你能给我一点鼓励吗？
你知道吗？
你一直是我的推动力。。。

我尝试不去想你，
甚至还想逃离这里，
但我一点也做不到，
我逃不了，
我避不开你。。

i miss you..every single day.

mood: miserable 沮丧
Listening to: 周杰伦-给我一首歌的时间

unforgettable..

2009-09-29T00:29:00.004+08:00

我现在在PERTH，
我不知道该怎样想，
好矛盾，
好乱，

你在我上飞机之前sms 了我，
叫我一定要照顾好自己，
今天又在FACEBOOK 上又提醒我一定要好好照顾自己，
你说对我好，可能是你关心我的方法是错的，
为何那么多人，你只选择关心我？
其实你对我的感觉，和我对你你的感觉，
你我都很清楚，所以一直都无法把爱放开，
放弃对方，

好想让你知道，
我仍然还很喜欢你，无时无刻的
喜欢你，
想你，
关心你，
担心你，

希望你知道，
我永远都不会离弃你。
这是我 L.E.O. 对你的债，
因为许下的承诺，是欠下的债。

mood: no good
Listening to: 杨丞琳-在你怀里的微笑

看见了你

2009-09-22T22:49:00.004+08:00

我今天看到你了，
我不知道应该怎样想，
我说了别跟你有什么联络，
但我也不忍心丢下你，只是想你开心。
虽然我不会再为你做那些事，
我仍然还很喜欢你，
我会在你身旁，当你需要我时，
我会为你开那盏灯，
照亮你的前景。

我一定会的。
相信我。
谢谢你，你永远是我的推动力，
永远是我心里的一部份。

mood: sad
Listening to：David Cook - light on

Leo 好介绍时间。

2009-09-21T01:25:00.008+08:00

最近突然好喜欢听歌，
也非常喜欢自弹自唱的歌手把自己的videos放上网
到了youtube.com 看了郑可为 & 李盈盈的videos.
好好听！！
介绍给你们她们俩翻唱方大同的《Lovesong》

怎么觉得einein 好像 lei ?
但 lei 还是比较好看。^^

"如果你是Melody　就是最动听　
所有的人都会跟着一起唱"

mood: 还好
Watching : 郑可为，李盈盈- Lovesong

失眠症！

2009-09-11T03:36:00.002+08:00

我的失眠症又来了。

last chat with Xin En about 1 am like that say that i was going to go sleep le...
Today i worked at Central... K.O. in the bus.... on the way home... hmm i am tired..but i dont know why i cant sleep...

these few nights...i keep having dreams.
i dreamt of her alot..
sometimes i wonder why is letting go so difficult?
just let go very difficult meh?
i really tried..but everytime i am reminded of her man...

sighs

我可以怎么办？
有什么方法？
lei......

=

mood: very very tired.
Listening to: Linkin Park- Pushing Me Away(Accoustic)

to you.

2009-09-09T02:28:00.002+08:00

to u:

我不知道该怎么写在我的部落各？
最近好多不愉快的事情发生了。。我希望你明白我这么做并不是我不想看到你，是因为我真的不知道怎样面对你，也不知道怎样不让你觉得尴尬。

我这样做，其实心里很痛，但也不知道该怎样。
对不起，真的很对不起。

看到了你msn的nick , 你说你已经忘了生活的味道，你说的真对，为什么不对待自己好一点呢？你每次都这样，我好不放心你，但我又能怎样？
虽然我们现在不联络了，我仍然很在乎你，相信你对我也一样的关心。不然为什么一直追问是谁买那巧克力给你吃?

我好想你啊。

“要搬过几个地方
换几个伴才到对的人身旁
要搬到什么地方
有谁陪伴才决定停止流浪”

心情：想念她
正收听：潘伟伯-寂屋出租

WoRST DAY oF MY LIFE

2009-08-28T23:20:00.004+08:00

it couldnt get any worse than this...
there was nothing i could do about it...
no way to salvage...
there was only 1 way..
that was to put an end to all this..
and i had to do it myself....

i did..
and it hurt..
it really did.. i felt my heart sink...
the moment i turned away from you..
the tears just started to well up...and when it was too heavy..
the tears dropped..

do you know the pain i've been thru?
do you know how many sleepless nites i go thru...
just so that i can make you smile... make you happy?

Just so you know..

mood: very very very sad..
Listening to: Jesse Mccartney- Just So You Know.

abt me...

2009-08-16T01:06:00.003+08:00

bad day at work today,
felt alot of feelings that was deemed unnecessary..
bleh..
what can i say...
i feel so unappreciated despite all my efforts to give in my best...
im quite sure i have always did so... in 2005.... right up till nw..
i have never given less than my best...
i have always put in my best in whatever i do.. and the same can be said for the effort i put into my work....

i guess the personality traits of a "Leo" is quite true..
a Leo needs to be constantly showered with attention,
a Leo is one who will love others who appreciates him for the effort...
a Leo is one who cants stand being forsaken..
a Leo can be easily jealous..

i guess im very much a Leo
for more..
read => this

mood: ranty
Listening to: Danny Gokey- What hurts the Most

好想念你。。。

2009-08-11T21:32:00.005+08:00

已经是第三个星期了，
我们已经足足3个星期没说话，没联络，没看到比此了

我好想念你
好想跟你说说话。
你又为何不理睬我呢？
我到底做错了什么？？

请不要再这样，
我快受不了了
=(

to someone : if your blog post is about me, i would tell you honestly how i feel...
1) i dunno how long i need before im willing to let go
2) yes, letting go will make me less.. i dont know why
3) and yes who i was have diminished becos of the loss... =(

thats how much im affected by it.. i know many will find it absurd that i think its difficult for me to let go..... i guess you all can never feel the pain and hurt i feel
i thank you though... *sighs*

don't knw what to blog.. + mixed feelings.

2009-08-08T23:27:00.003+08:00

hey,
its been awhile since i last blogged in here... many kinds of feelings as i post this entry... hmm read someone's blog and although now me and her are not in contact anymore, i still feel that her blog entries are very realistic and to the extend pointing to the realities of life...

and so..
should i follow what she says... or should i follow what my heart feels..
and give it all up... ?

i dont know...
i have this feeling that my life is going down...
like everyday's very meaningless now... im trying my best to make my dreams work out...but somehow all the bad luck i have is coming to me all the same time... stifling me, strangling me, making me unable to breathe...
im unable to concentrate on my studies...
like those negative thoughts just keep flowing into my brain....

birthday is coming... but yet im nt exactly excited about it like every other year -.-''
every year i jus wish that someone i love can be with me to celebrate it..
but every other year... im disappointed...
year after year...
plan after plan..
i jus feel.... maybe its not meant to be...

i told some1 that i feel that im a control freak... and when things go out of control... i freak out... i really dont knw why are things happening this way between me and her and maybe the others... maybe im just not gd enough for you all... i tried to reflect what went wrong and what did i do wrong... i jus cant seem to know what i did wrong... i mean if i did wrong, i really deserve the treatment... but i dont deserve this kinda treatment...

i really dont..
after what i did for you...
for your birthday....
i really hope u remember what i did for you...
and take into consideration my feelings ...

P.S. Xinen is bugging me to blog that shes mature but......

NOT SO FAST MAN!!!! =X

我们之间会不会有转机？？

mood: sad
Listening to: 潘伟伯- 转机

我们都累了

2009-07-22T23:46:00.002+08:00

我们都累了，
身体上累了，脑也累了，
但
心里更累。

我真的好累，
“为什么最真的心碰不到最好的人？”

我知道你因为工作而累，
我也没什么好说的，

心情：不好
音乐：游洪鸣-爱我的人和我爱的人

true true

2009-06-29T00:03:00.003+08:00

“都是一些可能中的不可能,何必在乎这些假象“

hais...
its so true what someone told me..
maybe im thinking too much..
maybe im worryin too much ?

love is not supposed to have so much contradictions and considerations ..
i love her.. i really do
i hope she knows that all i did for her is true and that she one day will understand all that i did for her..

iloveyou.

mood:confused
Listening to: 周杰论-安静

=S

2009-06-15T01:53:00.006+08:00

*post deleted*

mood: =S
Listening to: lady gaga- just dance

aussie land

2009-06-11T14:34:00.002+08:00

2 more months to my Australia trip!!!

excited..

but

i dunwanna stay there...
i jus wanna come back..
and be with you, to see you

mood: confused
Listening to: S.H.E- 中国话

about Leos...

2009-06-10T23:16:00.002+08:00

While dealing with a Leo man, be sure of one thing - you will never find him alone. He will always be amongst a group of people and, more often than not, he will be the center of attention. He is not the one to waste his charm in empty air; there will always be an audience admiring him. This is the key to a lion's heart - attention, appreciation and flattery. If you want to get close to a Leo male, become his audience. In case you have fallen in for the quiet, gentle lion, don't be fooled. Behind all this calm is the fire of an August-born.

Try dominating him even a slightest bit and you will see the fireworks. His personality traits include generous doses of chivalry, courtesy, gallantry, care and warmth. You will not require too many preparations to make a Leo guy fall in love with you. Candlelight dinner, moonlit night, sensual music and lots of romance - that's it! He will instantly fall in love with you. Infact, romance is something without which no Leo can survive for too long. He needs the constant love and attention given by a lover.

Leo men will be extremely generous while courting. You will be showered with roses, given gifts every now and then, taken to the best restaurants and be loaded with love letters, sprayed with sensual perfume. You will think that you have fallen in love with the most amiable person in the world. Now, comes the real part! Once you have entered his den, you will have to be his forever. A Leo man is extremely possessive of his loved ones and as far as you are concerned, you belong to him and him only.

He can get very jealous, very easily! Even a playful look at another man will send his jealousy meter to the topmost point. When pushed too far, he will send that man thrashing to the floor, if not the hospital. If you said you would be gone for two hours, be back in one hour and fifty-nine minutes. When a Leo male becomes unreasonable, it is advisable to pamper him and get your work done. His vanity may at times come in the way, but then, you will have to subdue it with love, care and your own stability.

Most of the Leo men do not want their wives to work after marriage. It is because they want to be the primary interest in the life of their partners and cannot stand anything else taking that place, even if it her job/work. A Leo guy will always pamper you with the best things in life and he will expect you to turn out looking stunning beautiful, when you go outside. Now, after you have managed to swallow the initial hiccups, you can be sure that you have the most devoted husband in the whole world.

Just remember to respect him and he will be generous in all respects - love, money, care and everything you want. A Leo man is not one of those who forget to say 'I Love You' till the next anniversary. You will be showered with attention and compliments every now and then. He will also remain faithful to you, though he may look at the pretty faces every now and then. However, don't take that too seriously and leave him. He will be very hurt and may go to the extreme of faking a heart attack to get you back.

Your part of the responsibility is to make sure that the romance never goes out of the relationship, even after the kids have come. Don't ever sideline your Leo man, not even for the kids. Then, he will remain contended and will play the perfect protective father to the children. He may not be very good with finances and this is where you will be required to provide some stability. There is a gambler streak in almost every Leo male and he will have to learn to keep it under limits. He is very good at repairing things around the house and this part of his characteristics profile may come quite handy to you.

He has a very bad temper and it will be displayed when you show him disrespect or indifference. Then, he can turn hotter than a burning furnace. Apart from that, he has a very cool demeanor. Leo men make wonderful, warm and loving fathers. In this area also, they demand respect and it is again your duty to ensure that the kids do not forget their manners. Always remember that a Leo guy secretly fears being ridiculed and his pride is just a veil for his fears. So, make sure to keep him nourished with love, care and respect. You will be rewarded with a loving husband, who will never let you be lonely again!

*p.s. i think its quite true with what the personality traits say about me.... just my 2 cents worth.. thanks Rey for the webby!!!*

2 more days!!!

mood: nervous
Listening to: jennifer hudson- spotlight

i like my own space..

2009-06-06T00:39:00.002+08:00

i know ppl are always sayin,
"why are ur posts so emo?"
" why issit you always think so much"

someone told me " i guess everybody is emo in their own blog"

fucking true.

SO listen up, if you dont like what you are seeing, FUCK OFF!!!!!

you know...
im not feeling good...
and i hate it when ppl who are blissful and in a world of their own with their SO(s) tell me this
"不要想那么多，想那么多都没有用"
FUCK THAT LAH!

sometimes i dont wanna think...
but i cant force myself not to,
especially when its affecting me..
you dont feel my pain,
you dont know how im hurting,
so dont FUCKING tell me how not to think jus becos thinking doesnt help,
i know it doesnt,
but i want to.

i wanna be emo.

FUCK OFF

im feelin better now...

mood: FUCKED UP
Listening to: FUCKER - FUCK YOU

back!!!

2009-05-22T01:25:00.002+08:00

hi guys...
firstly, just to let u guy know i'll try to blog more often yeah...
jus now i had a good chat with her...
maybe..
just maybe..

will things work out for us?
i hope it will..
cos right now, thats what i really want..

mood: tired but happy
Listening to: Kris Allen- Aint no sunshine

hello

2009-05-20T23:54:00.002+08:00

兰春！！！
你好！！欢迎你来我的网页。。
以后你可以来看！！

hi

2009-05-17T22:56:00.004+08:00

hmm,
hey peeps, its been awhile since i came here n blog about stuffs...
well.. its been many ups n downs....
what shall i say...

well..

its work and study...
no more clubbing life anymore...
well im glad that i kinda stop going clubbing already...
kinda tired from that kinda lifestyle....
jus cant take the late nites and the dancing anymore...
maybe i cant deny that im getting older??? haha...

work has been ok.. cept the fact that im still in that kinda situation whereby i dont like it being stuck at one outlet all the time... occasionally changing.... went back to central after a 3 month hiatus... erm... had a RELATIVELY gd day... and got to work at vivo again after so long... haha =S but back at jurong point again... sian sian sian.... -.-''

hmm
Had mom's bday dinna at Seafood Paradise @ Singapore Flyer... felt so sua ku when i went there..it was really the 1st time i see flyer at such close proximity!!! Haha... -.-'' Really wanted to go there a few months back.... However, didnt knw why we didnt end up going... wished i could get her to go with me... well...

bleh..
im tired... enuff blogging... will update soon..

Just 2 minutess of seeing you at T1,
is enuff to make my whole day..
wait awhile more,
it will be a great nite,
this i promise.

mood: okay..
Listening to: Kris Allen- Aint no sunshine

bad day at work..

2009-03-06T04:08:00.003+08:00

hey..
hmm.. its been awhile since i last blogged in here...
well..
its been a torturous few weeks for me..
and its been a all time low for me..

i dont know how to describe the feeling im feelin right now..
maybe its just not meant to be for us...
but why is it so...
you keep showing me that you care..
why do u still care for me..
after the words you left for me...
i cant breakaway from you at all....
much as i want to...
why is it im always at the losing end... when all i did was really to care for you...
do i really have to wait..
do i really have to wait for you to forget him totally?
i wanna wait for you..
is there anything else i can do? is there option 2?

please either hurt me totally n not care bout me...
so i can forget you...

or..

love me wholeheartedly... love me like you always try to hide..
love me like you'll make me guess how u feel..

you're making me suicidal..
im dying a slow death...
sometimes i just wished something bad will happen to me..
to save me from this life that i wished i was nv in...

im jus a fool for you.... only you...
"love me love me, say that you'll love me"

mood: sighs 0.0'''
Listening to: olivia ong- Lovefool

兩個人不等於我們

2009-02-14T23:58:00.000+08:00

醒来只有我一个人
分不清黄昏或清晨
空气微冷有甚么在流失慢慢降温
一颗心往下沉
毕竟只是太短的梦
彼此终于退回陌生
我加上你两个人并不等于我们
你想我吗会偶尔想我吗
是这样吗飞扬的会落下
你爱我吗如果诚实回答
可是爱也不是解答
空屋子里没有回声
但我记忆有你指纹
我加上你两个人却并不等于我们
你想我吗会偶尔想我吗
是这样吗飞扬的会落下
你爱我吗如果诚实回答
可是爱也让人疲乏
你知道吗我心快要溶化
是这样吗压抑的会爆发
你爱我吗爱我就懂我吗
告诉我善意的谎话
告诉我善意的谎话
好让我相信我不是太傻

its been awhile..

2009-02-14T02:34:00.003+08:00

its been awhile since i last blogged here..
haha
=)
Great!
Tmr's valentine's day...and i'll be working since i dont have a date.

things have been crappy for the past one week..
been rushing to finish something...
and nt enuff sleep and also getting scolded..
sometimes i really dont know if we are being valued..

like the older generation are normally axed..
thats how i feel nowadays..
i dont even feel motivated enough...
and it aint my fault... i've tried...
i've tried to make things work out the way they wanted..
but they always fail to look at things in our perspective..
when things dont go their way, they blame you...
when things do go their way, do they even stop to see what went right?
do they even see who made things right?
Thats because the process is NEVER important to them...
what they want is THE RESULTS!!!!! Goddamnit...

Whatever happened to the family i knew once before..
they seem to fade with time...
its now us and the younger ones....

Well..
a burden off my chest....
hope u liked the gift!
i spent a lot effort doing it.

mood: okay lah
Listening to: Linkin Park- Papercut

突然好想你

2009-01-05T23:46:00.004+08:00

最怕空气突然安静
最怕朋友突然的关心
最怕回忆突然翻滚
绞痛着不平息

最怕突然听到你的消息
想念如果会有声音
不愿那是悲伤的哭泣
事到如今
终於让自已属於我自已
只剩眼泪还骗不过自己

突然好想你
你会在哪里
过的快乐或委屈

突然好想你
突然锋利的回忆
突然模糊的眼睛

我们像一首最美丽的歌曲
变成两部悲伤的电影
为什麽你
我走过最难忘的旅行
然後留下最痛的纪念品

我们那麽甜那麽美
那麽相信
那麽疯那麽热烈的曾经

为何我们
还是要奔向各自的幸福
和遗憾中老去

突然好想你
你会在哪里
过的快乐或委屈
突然好想你
突然锋利的回忆
突然模糊的眼睛

最怕空气突然安静
最怕朋友突然的关心
最怕回忆突然翻滚
绞痛着不平息
最怕突然听到你的消息
最怕此生已经决定自己过
没有你却又突然
听到你的消息

mood: sad
Listening to: Mayday- Tu Ran Hen Xiang Ni

guilty..

2009-01-02T01:09:00.002+08:00

I've heard of some good news...
jus write in here to congratulate them...
=)

anyway heard some stuff about someone here...
and i've realised...if it hadnt been the things i've done..
there wouldnt be so much unhappiness going around lah...

i know now its too late to say anything.
just wish that everything will die off..
and hope that everyone will have their gd times....

mood: disappointed with myself.
Listening to: Christina Aguilera- Hurt.

Fantastique, Zirkus Zirkus and Xmas with my loved ones frm FB..

2008-12-28T01:54:00.005+08:00

hey..
Merry Xmas to you guys..
its a late post.. and some of you dont even get my sms..
Sorry!!!
Cos i've been busy with sch work lately and hadnt had time to do so k..

To F01:
Im sorry i didnt make it to the class chalet this year..
fell so sick becos of my constant late nites these few days becos im rushing my projects, and with exams...i'll make it up to u guys real soon yah!! =)

Xmas Eve was a working day for me at Central.. It was the last day of the ZirkusZirkus and Fantastique on Ice musical shows.. AWWWW!!! so sad.. most of us who worked at Central FB or Mitju enjoyed it although it didnt help us in our sales.. becos of the HUGE STAGE! If i have time i'll upload the video and then i'll post it in my blog okay? But the video does not have Zirkus zirkus just Fantastique...

p.s. Bet Fiona's gonna like the Fantastique Video... lol..

After work went down to Village to meet the rest of them to see what program we had.. didnt know what to do so we headed to Kopitiam orchard to have a meal lah..since all of us were hungry from work as it was a busy day...and had a countdown while we were eating!!!

Later, we went to watch IP MAN... i think it was a gd show..fell asleep for awhile though.. cos i was really really tired... hmm didnt think it deserve the 2 star rating it got.. well,

Xmas was fun fun fun... as compared to previous years..always waiting waiting waiting for nothing... this year...there was no anticipation for someone.. something..so naturally there weren't any disappointments..instead i had a great time with my colleagues, my 3rd family.... =)

Merry Xmas to you all...

Fiona and me in pink with our pink balloon!!!

Crazy evelyn..

the caps, my displays..only in FB the Central

FB Crew in bus on Christmas Day..

Me with the prawns we caught!!

mood: Holiday!!! Celebrate!!!
Listening to: Janet Jackson- Escapade.

squeezed in post..

2008-12-15T14:04:00.002+08:00

hi ppl,
these days so busy with things..
got studies, work and stuffs lah...

Having a paper later, acquisition of skills ,
though stressed up but still managed to squeeze in a wee bit of time to blog...
friends been complaining about my dead blog...
haha..

Really really really very very very tired these days..
havent been sleeping well cos of my assignments...
then nw exams...
SMA's planning of our timetable and schedule is VERY VERY lousy and havent been up to scratch at all after all the complaint emails and letters that we have sent out...
-.-''

thought about alot of things these days..
and i realised..
people change..
whether is becos of money or other kinds of stuff..
i've realised that friendship n loyalty dont really buy u a meal..
in the real world, the working world... maybe only polishing boots and sucking up to bosses will enable u to have a "Metal Rice Bowl"
Ironic But True...
How many people these days actually appreciate feedback and harsh words to improve whatever their doing and how many ppl actually reward loyalty?
Little.....

I've changed too..
Maybe i've become more outspoken in the things i want..
in the things i have to fight for..
the rights.. everything..
My taste changed too..
used to like girls in long hair...
used to jus like simple stuffs...
used to cut my hair at neighbourhood hairdressers..

Im nt sayin im into branded stuffs n cut my hair at salons..
but jus saying that..
people do change...
and i've to admit i've changed a little...
but all i really want is to be happy

But..

im not.

mood: down
Listening to: Hoobastank- Running Away

updates.

2008-11-08T02:55:00.002+08:00

Term 3 begins...
hahah...Start of a new term... -.-''' Packed..
gonna be so so so tired..

and just in case some ppl wanna find out hw am i doing..
well im fine...
and im very very happy with the way i am..
in fact im better of like this..

=)

Thanks for making me realize what a fool I've been..
all these times...

anyway...
having fun these days.. out for supper with Fb & Mitju staffs...
Haha.. we're all having good times over Tau Hway..
Lol..

Congrats to Rachel who is getting married in Msia This month...

heee..

mood: =)
Listening to: Jet- Look What You've Done

=)

2008-10-31T00:46:00.002+08:00

=)
today was a good day..
wrked at Vintage while Bx wrked at parco and Joey at Village..
had fun...
fun n fun..

felt great that Al** dropped by...

=)

tmr at Parco.....

mood: good
Listening to: Sly- Xi Wang.

hhmm....

2008-10-17T10:35:00.002+08:00

omg..
so fast time flies..
starting on my 3rd sem and final sem of my year 1
lol!!!

Anyway...
work's been tiring....
all we think about is member member member...
wah maciam klubbing.....
haha =)

Happy birthdays..
Bon
Hey bro... all the best for you...hope everything goes well for ya lah!!! kk
and please collect ur shirt lah!!!! 2 months liao sia!! at my hse hahaha....

Eugene
Hey yo.. happy bday to you...hope u are enjoyin tekong at the moment!! lol =X

Lian An
Idiot .... happy birthday see u lateer!!

mood: Birthday MOOD!!!!
Listening to: Landy- Zhu Wo Shen Ri Kuai Le.

la la..

2008-10-10T00:06:00.003+08:00

Get well soon
Stupid Roy...

hahaa..... tmr at central again..
yesterday.. wanted to club.. at first thought about goin zouk... but bon didnt want mambo....then wanted to go dbl O....cos we 2 wanted to drink... but theni was in berms at work mah... so we didnt have a choice... so we ended up at home!!!!! hahaha

im glad i never sucuumbed to goin mambo again...
hahaa the last time i went mambo wtih FB peeps...only me and bon were enjoying.. i guess the others werent used to Retro music bah... hahaha

Never mind...i will cut down on my partyin ways already.... i need to start saving up for my coachin course... and i need to concentrate more in school anyway...

might be going to KL in Nov...with some of them..
anyway !!!!
i hope we're gonna have funnnn!!!

=)

to u:
thanks for being my pillar of strength..
thanks for making me smile again....
thanks for everything...
be strong..
i know you are..
i'll try to be..
Just for you..

mood:okay lah!
Listening to: Yoga Lin - Bei ying.

100 questions....koped frm Royston....

2008-10-08T00:47:00.003+08:00

01. What have you been doing recently?
Nothing in particular...working?

02. Do you ever turn your cell phone off?
yeah..jus did yesterday...

03. What happened at 10.00am today?
jus woke up..goin to work...yawnZ!!!

04. When did you last cry?
teared... yest.

05. Believe in fate/destiny?
once did..

06. What do you want in your life right now?
graduate and get my degree!

07. Do you carry an umbrella when it rains, or just put up your hood?
love the rain..

8. What's your favourite thing to have on your bed?
hmm... my pillows....

9. What bottom are you wearing now?
boxers...

10. What's the nicest text in your inbox say?
for me to knw..

11. Do you tend to make a relationship complicated?
im never successful...so i guess i do tend...

12. Are you wearing anything you borrowed from someone?
nope...boxers leh..

13. What was the last movie you caught?
The House bunny with FB crew..

14. What are you proud of?
im proud of ... nothing.

15. What does the oldest text message in your inbox say
cant remember..

16. What was the last song you sang out loud?
Yoga Lin- Bei Ying...

17.Do you have any nicknames?
Leo, nut, nerd, bodoh!!!

18. What does your last received text message say?
tmr leo 11 am lun 1.30 pm Central.

19. What time did you go to bed last night?
5am.

20. Are you currently happy?
nope..

21. Who gives you best advice?
bx, roy...

22. Do you eat whipped cream straight from the can?
oooo...havent tried..

23. Who did you talk on phone last night?
Bing xian..

24. Is anything bugging you right now?
yeah.

25. What/who was the last thing/person to make you laugh?
Roy who came to find me at work... And takin pics with Evelyn today..

26. Do you wear toe socks?
nope...

27. Who was the last person you missed a call from?
Bon...

28. Have you ever had your heartbroken?
i guess so

29. What annoys you most in a person?
dont know...

30. Do you have a crush on anyone?
yeah...

31. Have you ever done cocaine?
nope

32. What is the colour of your room?
no room -.-... soon!!!

33. Would you kill someone you hate for a billion dollar?
hell yeah

34. Do you believe in the saying of : talk is cheap?
of cos... Say only mah Who aso can...
bu yao zhi hui jiang...yao zhuo...
jiang er yi...shui dou hui...

35. Who was the last person to lie in your bed?
i shall nt say...

36. Who was the last person to hug you?
my nephews.. Rayner n raymus

37. Did anyone see the last person you kissed?
maybe...

38. Do you have a life?
i must say..nt yet..

39. Have you ever think someone died, when they really didnt die?
er nope.

40. What is the reason behind your profile song?
hmm...really shows who i shud run to?

41. Who was the last person you saw in your dream?
Evelyn.

42. Last time you smiled?
yesterday

43. Have you changed this year?
erm im nt sure...

44. What are you listening right now?
nothing..

45. Are you talking to someone when you doing this?
yeah....royston..

46. Do you walk with your eyes open or closed?
-.-'' what do ya think

47. Is there a quote you live by?
i dont knw..

48. Do you want someone you cannot have?
yeah..... i always wanted that person....

49. Have you ever played an instrument?
yes... piano...

50. What was the worst idea you've had in this week?
to let her knw.

51. What are you doing last night at 11pm?
erm... still in shop...

52. Are you happy with your love life right now?
no...

53. What song best describe your love life?
Slyvester Sim- Xi Wang

54. Does the person know that you like him/her?
yes.

55. Who always make you laugh?
BingXian, Lun, Joey, Lei, Evelyn

56. Do you speak other language other than English?
Chinese

57. Favourite website(s)?
leonarddranoel.blogspot.com

58. What's your middle name?
size

59. What are you doing tomorrow?
work lah what else...can i go club tmr?

60. What do you think you are like?
ehhh...super crappy

61. Who will you choose to die with?
erm.. =X

62. Where have you been today?
Central....

63. What game do you play often?
erm...www.yougame.com

64. Who are you missing right now?
eh.. her n her.

65. If you have to choose between friend and love, who will you choose?
friends.

66. What are you doing right now?
fuck lah..this lah!

67. Which primary school are you from?
Nan Hua Primary.

68. Name 3 colours that you like?
Col 2, Col 6 and Col 1.....
Lol FB ppl will know lah!!!!
hahahaha

69. What emotion you like to show?
-.-''

70. What is your life to you?
nothing...sick of my life

71. If you have something troubling you, what will you do?
Talk to someone who can understand me ,

72. Who did you last chat in msn today? right nw roy..

73. Who do you admire most?
erm.... i dun knw..

74. Which month are you born in? August

75. How are you feeling right now? sucky..

76. What is the time now? 1.05am

77. What kind of person do u think the one who tagged you is? royston? defintitely an asshole...

78.What colour did you use to dye hair? mmm Zai..

79. Why are you doing this test? boliao lor..

80. What do you do when you're moody? emo

81. At which age you wish to get married? 26

82. Who is more important to you? my family.

83. If today is the last day of your life, what will you do? Tell her i love her .

84. Who is the person you trust the most? family, A,

85. Do you believe in seeing a rainbow after a rain? nope

86. If you have a dream come true, what would it be? mmmzai!

87. What is your goal for this year? study harder..

88. Do you believe in eternity love? Nope..

89. What feeling do you love most? sleepin close to the one u love...

90. Do you really think its Global Warming now? Fucking hell yes!!!!! Sweat Balls

91.What feeling do you hate the most? when im being ignored..

92. Do you cherish every single friendship of yours? yes...

93. Do you believe in God? depends on who sia.. .

94. Who cares for you most? my family... my buddies!!!.

95. What do you think is the most important thing in your life? make moneh!!! .

96. What will you bring when you fight? My HEART!!!

97. What have you done regretted doing in your whole life? nt giving my best in my rship.. n nt being able to handle it..

98. What would you feel if no one no longer cares for you? i'll jus die...

99. What if your boyfriend/girlfriend two-timed you? sigh..never tot bout it...but hai....

100. HOW DO U FEEL NOW? Fuck him and fuck you too!!!

cant wait.

2008-10-04T00:25:00.002+08:00

i cant wait for next week...
i cant wait..
i wanna see u really badly
i miss u even though i just saw you

mood: sickly
Listening to: Jesse McCartney- Just So you Know.

what did i do..

2008-09-25T23:50:00.002+08:00

actually
i really dont knw what i did to deserve such a treatment frm u
if you dont want..
then jus say u dun wan..
why do u have to give me hope.

mood: fucked
Listening to: Depeche mode- Strange Love

err..

2008-09-23T21:11:00.002+08:00

saw kelvin's nick on msn
"why are u trying so hard to make things perfect?Just Relax and be yourself."
his nick gt me thinking..
although its nt me whom he is referring to...
i jus think maybe im tryin too hard..
i jus wanna be happy...
i jus wanna get over the unhappy things..
but its so difficult...

mood: lost
Listening to: Zhang Hui Mei- Xing Shi Shui Ren Zhi.

l..........................................................e.....i

2008-09-22T01:13:00.003+08:00

微凉的晚秋
随着落叶擦肩而过
多少年
日升月没转瞬间过
冰冷的雨滴
打在温热的我的手
多少泪
顺着脸颊不停滑落
而我的梦深藏在心中
那里有甜蜜的幻想全是你和我
但你却说太遥远
梦已经不够
需要多些空间
让彼此再去寻找快乐
只想再听你说
你愿意爱着我
直到地老天荒下个世纪末
真的只想再听你说
在你心中我算什么
给我一个答案算不算太过奢求
难忘记熟悉的轮廓
期望能再紧抱着我
你却不肯回头
只想再听你说
愿意继续爱我
你却是低着头用力的沉默
真的只想再听你说
求求你不要再闪躲
才明白爱上你
等于爱上了寂寞
才明白爱上你
等于爱上了寂寞

mood: down
Listening to: 那英-爱上你等于爱上寂寞

Joanna Wang 王若琳 - 有你的快乐

2008-09-17T03:13:00.004+08:00

Just wanna share this song..
wanna dedicate this song to Someone...

我怎麼都不想睡天特別亮夜特別的黑
當我深深的呼吸心中充滿想你的甜蜜

想和你走在雨中想要你牽我的手傻傻的你不敢說愛
而我也故意要你為我等待

說不出有多麼快樂還是不夠這感覺這一切
就好像飄在外太空別的星球只有我們存在

喜歡和你在一起無聊的生命也變有趣
當你聽我的音樂分享在每一刻的心情

在一起越來越久開始會對你在乎
這感覺我們都明白
只要你在身邊日子就亮起來

說不出有多麼快樂還是不夠這感覺這一切
就好像飄在外太空別的星球只有我們存在

愛情在這個時候
我的心就像天氣晴時多雲偶爾有雨

說不出有多麼快樂還是不夠這感覺這一切
就好像飄在外太空別的星球只有我們存在

說不出有多麼快樂還是不夠這感覺這一切
就好像飄在外太空別的星球只有我們存在

mood:tired
Listening to: Joanna Wang 王若琳 - 有你的快乐

失眠....

2008-09-17T02:08:00.007+08:00

i'm losing sleep again..
its been days and haha guess kelvin did complain about the girls in FB all lookin like zombies... =) haha...
boring..
today went out with ZR,evelyn and Lilian... walked around FE, wisma and Bugis.. bleh..
tired.... my legs ached from the 7 km run i had the day before...

as i was running, alot went thru my mind...
like.. what if i suddenly collapse there and then.... because the doc had advised me in doing sports for awhile...to rest my heart..
dont know why...
half of me wished that i did collapse, wishing i never had to worry about anything again......n half of me was worried that what if i really did? I havent done many things yet leh.... sighs.. in 2 minds..

不知道为什么
总觉得好累, 好不开心....
是不是她不在? 为什么感觉就像是三年前那样?

我知道我错了..
我伤害了你太深....
我也没想要你原谅我...

"you make me smile
please stay for awhile now,
just take your time
wherever you go"

*p.s. my sincerest condolences to joey on the demise of her beloved granny...*

mood: =(
Listening to: Colbie Calliat- Bubbly

few good days...

2008-09-15T02:18:00.007+08:00

hey hey!
中秋节快乐!!!
hope you guys having fun..especially Lei who is back in Msia..
hee ^^

Spent my mid autumn Festival workin at the Central.
No Mid Autumn Mood...No Mooncakes, lanterns and aso no tea...
these weekend was workin with Evelyn... My best partner at work... always good sales whenever i work with her.. =) *cheers*
Went down to Bugis Village to pass sales and went for supper with Zr, Joey, Lun, An , Lian and Teck2..and Rey too...

the other nite...was it a Fri? Went for movie with Zr and Evelyn lor...hmm caught Bangkok Dangerous at PS... not bad lah... but a bit cheapo the production... lol... we aso watched Wall E with the others and Lei & Rachel....last Fri...

After movie watned to go home then ZR and Evelyn suggested Mustafa... so we went!!! haha
had a good laugh LOL!!!!! Funny sia... got pics to prove it.. we had fun!!
today aso took pics with Evelyn hehe.... =)

us.

hello!

Muffins... that the paisley n cream ppl gave us for　中秋节! Elmo!!!

Zr pickin flowers at Mustafa... =X!!!

The 3 of us... but cant really see Eve..

My spoils!!! silky n sexy Boxers!!!!

Funny Poster... taken from Mustafa de...

我开心不代表我忘了有你的存在．
我很想念你，
请你快回来．

mood: happy
Listening to: Kiley Dean- Who would i Run to.

又撞墙了.....

2008-09-10T22:53:00.007+08:00

Sometimes i really dont understand..
am i that bad? am i that screwed up..
haha maybe some of u reading out there think so...im sure there are some of you out there..
why do i screw things up again..
jus a simple outing... and i can become temperamental...
maybe im jus too 情绪化??

我又撞墙了.....
不知道为什么我的心那么痛...

我错在哪儿?

真的是猜不透......

猜不透
你最近时好时坏的沉默
我也不想去追问太多
让试探为彼此的心上了锁

猜不透
相处会比分开还寂寞
两个人都只是得过且过
无法感受每次触摸是真的是热的

如果忽远忽近的洒脱
是你要的自由
那我宁愿回到一个人生活

如果忽冷忽热的温柔
是你的借口
那我宁愿对你从没认真过

mood: =(
Listening to: 叮噹- 猜不透

不开心的一天

2008-09-08T00:15:00.002+08:00

好不开心啊,
我第一次用华语写布落格.....
不知为什么, 我今天想到她....
不知不觉不开心起来.....
很多时侯...当你发觉你自己在作战时, 你会突然间感到很疲倦, 觉得很累.
也是这个时候你会发觉自己很孤独很想要一个心爱的人和你并肩作战....
但是, 这些想法只是个幻想, 不可能成为现实的.

今天做central.. 也算是回家
但不知到为什么, 我没觉得高兴...
反而觉得空虚....
伤心
总决得我在你心中是没地位的...
hai....

"我沈默不代表我不痛
我不痛眼泪就不会流"

mood: 沮丧
Listening to: Jam Hsiao- 疼爱

失恋无罪

2008-09-03T02:31:00.005+08:00

ALin- 失恋无罪

你说我对你紧紧跟随你觉得疲惫
你一句话就逼我撤退

没想到你说最近选择一个人睡
我忍住眼泪我尊重眼泪

孤独万岁失恋无罪
谁保证一觉醒来有人陪
我对於人性早有预备还不算太黑

独身万岁失恋无罪
爱不够爱你的人才受罪
用过去悲伤换来自由难道不珍贵

一个人崩溃不是在犯罪

一个人崩溃并不是在犯罪

mood: okay
Listening to: Alin- 失恋无罪

tired...

2008-08-30T23:44:00.004+08:00

萧亚轩-冲动

很感激这城市拥挤的交通
让你我还能多相处几分钟
人潮中怕失散所以轻轻拉你的手
一刻不放松不放松
忍不住想要爱你的冲动
不确定你属于我会有点寂寞
你给的幸福在我心中自由走动
抚平我每一个伤口
忍不住想要吻你的冲动
不确定我的执着能让你感动
我只能相信自己感受不怕失落
关于你的一切我想要比谁都懂
我的心是被你设定的闹钟
提醒我想你的时间不够用
为什么平淡的事情现在忽然生动
是你改变我你改变我
你是情人还是朋友
还没勇气想得太多
你的世界如此辽阔
我会在哪个角落

at least i get to see you..
every alternate week..
just hope you dont shun me...
cos i love the way u care about me..
although you dont show it..
i knw you care..
thanks n cya.

mood: VERY confused.
Listening to: Elva Hsiao- Chong Dong.

pain..

2008-08-17T00:06:00.002+08:00

i dun knw..
but i jus felt upset...
but i couldnt do anything...
but watch her..
walk out of the door of the shoppin mall with her friends..
and all i can do is ... hope that she'll turn around and see me..
at least thats what i wanted at that point of time....

maybe i shud jus stop livin in that lie..

mood: heartbroken.
Listening to: one republic- stop n stare.

sighs..

2008-08-12T01:18:00.002+08:00

today i worked at central again.. -.-'' alone..
i was very lonely..and i started thinkin about stuffs again.
i started thinkin of her..when i knw i shudnt...cos i'd be upset..
i couldnt help it..
shes the one always with me when things go wrong..and she will always be the one tellin me that things will be fine..
but nw that things happen..
shes no longer here....
really worried bout my follow up at the doc's tmr...
wonder what her diagnosis will be....

what if...i really have a problem...

sighs...still so much things to do....

i miss her..

mood: lonely.
Listening to: Muo Er Ben De Fei Cui(Canto)

hmm

2008-08-08T02:37:00.002+08:00

i dunknw what is being afraid till yesterday..
went to see a doc for some medication..
then the doctor told me
that my blood pressure taken on the left arm was way too high..
my diastolic n systolic were both over a threshold..

well..
then she took my bp on my right arm..
and it was normal..
and she felt it was wierd...

she told me to go home n rest..
abstain from all kind of sports n exercise for a week...
and go back to see her for a follow up..
and told me if there wasnt a change then prolly she would have to refer me to the Cardiologist...

really very worried man..
got me affected for the rest of the dayy.
and i couldnt concentrate for my paper that nite..
Dont knw why..

Dont knw why..
i jus wished that u were here with me..
to tell me that everything is okay..
and i will be fine..
but nw ... i jus cant help but worry....

mood: worried
Listening to: Jay Sean- Maybe.

oT for vintage n mitju.

2008-07-30T01:40:00.002+08:00

well..
yesterday had ot for vintage n mitju...
dun knw why...
zervon agreed with me it didnt felt the same way it did when we cleared out FBone last time...

No alex,
no bx...
luckily i had lun, joey, zr and zervon to make me =)

well...i was really tired n because of the dust n all that i coughed the whole of today...
oh did i mentioned my rashes were very bad becos of the dust..sighs...
really really v tired....
n a lil unhappy..
maybe bx is right... happiness hasnt found its way to me yet...so i shudnt be so critical of my happiness

today had lessons @ Tmi again.... then i went to look for BX @ central and lei n wang tao at mitju central... hmm...stayed after sch till they finish work then we went to riverside there to talk n blow wind... haha... Wang tao is damn funny loh...

dun knw why im nt lookin forward to my birthday...
its a day everybody loves... at least no1 hates their own birthdays right?
well nt me..
i dun seem to like my bday anymore...
it will jus seem like any ordinary day to me..

if there was u..
any day would seem extraordinary...

mood: Missing you.
Listening to: 98degrees- This gift.

dreams.reality.

2008-07-26T01:33:00.002+08:00

hey hey..
jus back from supper with teck n royston..
these few days always out late with Fb ppl.
had class today and it was tiring cos i was made to do step-ups for 5 mins continuous jus to take my pulse rate...n my rate of recovery..luckily i belong to the "good" group..
hehe interesting modules this sem...

well anyway..
these few days...
i keep dreamin' bout her..
i dun knw why...its affecting me alot...
i dun feel sad... but i jus wake up feelin really very groggy....
and i want to see her very much... well...

i went Mustafa with teck, lian and Bingxian the other day after work..
and we all love the perfume section!
wanted to get 1 but didnt knw wat to get.. whether to get the same 1 or get the Issey Miyake one i tried the other day..
didnt knw why.. but i loved "tat" smell so much...
so i sprayed some on the tester paper....but miss!
sprayed onto myself lor... then i couldnt wash it off when i came home....
so it stayed on me for the whole nite... and even the next day.. i could smell the faint smell of it.....

things havent really been that good...
i feel kinda drained n stuff..
and i dun knw why i still find myself always pressin her number...
but i never dared to dial....

oh ya btw..
i went back to camp the other day! for Mobilisation Briefing..
the feelin was good! hahah saw so many of my friends.... gold hair, long hair, no hair, bla bla bla...

We went Amk Hub later for makan and hanging out...
went to buy my honey lemon.... sad to hear one of 4 beauties(aunties lah) quitting le cos she have to look after her grandchildren...but glad i had visited her on her last day at work.. =)
also went MITJU to visit AH MAY and QINGPENG..... lol!

Qing peng very funny say i look gd in my uni! hahah Xie Xie Ni la!!!

Next week ot for Vintage so ya... would be a fun fun day!!!

mood: confused.
Listening to: BSB- As long as you love me

stay tuned.

2008-07-23T00:30:00.002+08:00

stay tuned for bbq pics..
had fun..
got drunk..
love them bunch of ppl!!!

dunno...its nearing my bday..and suddenly feel damn moody lah..
today was in class...then opened up my notebook n saw some writings inside...n got reminded..

well..
back to camp tmr!
see ya ppl!!!!!! cant wait actually!!
hahah..

mood: dunno... numb? prolly..
Listening to: Muo Er Ben de Fei Cui (Jade From Melbourne)

craaazy week

2008-07-13T23:12:00.004+08:00

and so its the end of my craaaaazy clubby week!!
haha..
i went mambo on wed like i mentioned....and they had the dance-off thingy there...
and on Fri i went to MoS with my Fb colleagues.... so much fun!!!
on sat went to dbl o/o bar with mich...
so tired... that i slept the whole day today...

Friday
it was a craaazy day to start with, with things happening...and i had to go for lessons at SSC @ kallang...which didnt make things gd becos i was like waiting for the damn bus for like dun knw hw long and when me and Jonathon decided to take a cab there, we had to detour and pay 8 bucks for a 3 buck trip.... =( boo to the surcharge n there is going to be a fare hike soon for comfort cabs.. :\

after lesson a classmate send me to central!!! sorry i didnt get ur name but THANKS lot... went to central to change into my jeans n stuff.. n left my stuff there cos anyway i was wrkin at central on Sat again what right? haha headed down to village... waited here n there for all to reach n headed down to zouk..wanted to go phuture at first but guess whta? FULL HSE!!! n they didnt wanan club house music..

oh ya *thanks anabelle n sis for signing me into velvet...hope they give me the member card sooooon!!!! *

so we headed down to butter... and apparently it was full hse too....and they had to wait n all of us were gettin impatient... me ZR n lun decided to check out o bar...but we were afraid that some of them cant meet the 20yo age limit...so we gave up on obar n i cabbed down with ZR to Mos to check out the queue!!!!

Result: Nobody!!!

so we called them over n went in...
and we barely reached for 15 mins and there was a raid!!! * rolleyes * hw lucky can we be that nite?
well we had fun fun and more fun...
and took lots of pics too!!!

here goes:

Teck2

Teck2 and lilian....lovely lah..

ZR, hong n liting..

Lun, teck2 and adrian... doin it best..

Us... evelyn, Zr, me, teck2 n lilian..

Lun n Joey....sweet =)

Adrian n Shuyi..

joey n evelyn.

Zr, Eve, Teck2 n lilian!!!!

evelyn n i!

we had so much fun dancin' the night away...and especially those songs that we heard when we work in FB haha "CYCLoNE" esp!!! hahahha so funny...

and what better way to end of the nite with Macs..and at the most unpredictable place

oh ya a pic from steamboat the other nite.. ( with BX inside )

Freshbox Crew.

mood:groovy.
Listening to: Baby Bash- Cyclone.

mambo..n a craaazy week ahead.

2008-07-11T01:38:00.002+08:00

hehe.
its finally back to zouk n mambo again...
well this time its dead pack cos the mambo 16th anniversary dance off competition... haha i knw what u wanna ask...
u wanna ask if i joined....
the answer is No!!

im nt bhb... to join n poh ppl.. haha =X oops.... bitch mode on?? lol..maybe..

mambo commenced after that..
as usual at my spot...
thanks Mich for accompanying me... lol!!
had fun.. but still argh... i wanted the higher spot... and i didnt wear the ghostbuster tee...

sigh was really crowded n we had to squeeze on the S plat... then "cross my heart" came on...and mich knew i liked that song for a particular reason... so she let me have the space to dance.. haha really danced my ass off to that song... Mambo no.5 didnt come... but many songs made me think.. "i heard a rumour" n "love in the 1st deg"

then there was "superstar" and "as long as u love me"....

all these songs...so nice...on my repeat mode nw.. lol! =)

lol
anyway..
am going to zouk/phuture tmr with FB peeps!!!
going to be such a craaaaazy week ahead...
we're going to drink drink drink..
pls dont be late on Sat peeps!!!! =)

mood: good
Listening to: eighth wonder- cross my heart

Fb farewell steamboat for Adrian.. and updates!

2008-07-06T22:18:00.002+08:00

hmm...
Its a rare off day on Sunday today lol.. haha seldom get to rest properly and guessed i had a good rest today..

these few days always ended up going home late.. dun knw why jus dont wish to reach home early.. i jus wanted to hang out after work and do something till its really time to go home n dive into the sheets...

hmm lemme think.. Mon n Tues was fun workin with Bingxian... play play played the wholeday... Tues went for midnite soccer with Fb guys.. really fun..but also really tired.. hadnt play soccer like this for quite awhile.. made me very gian.. haha! hmm then Wed nothing on.. jus went supper with Teck2 and Lilian and Hong...

Friday- Steamboat for Adrian before he leaves for NS...
As usual Fri was a workin day for most of us... and we met up at village before we headed to the Steamboat place at Bugis.. but this time it wasnt "Chong Qing".. it was the Top 1 ktv downstairs that steamboat place... hmm i must say... Food wasnt that good.. due to the freshness...bla bla bla..no goldenmushrooms!!!!! how can.. its a must have okay? but was the company that matters..there was so much laughter... lol...Lun, Zhongren Joey, BX and me... lol tok sooooo much cock.. even Lilian was a joker that nite.. so much laughs.. wonder when would be the next time so many ppl sit together and have a good meal... jus made me reminscent on the time we ate b4 me and bon went for NS! same aso alot ppl...but this time there wasntmuch familiar faces...Shuling wasnt there, Alex wasnt there... sigh..its different.. but i enjoyed myself nevertheless.....

thanks to Zr, Lun, joey, lilian and BX for makin my day seem so much better than usual!

adrian: all the best to u..even though u might not read this... 2 years very fast over de.. lol believe me.. my 2 years are already up and nw im back in FB again hahahha..... see? okok..take good care of urself always!!!

yesterday went to play soccer with gary n thomas... its been awhile since i last done that... haha.. i was damn tired... but i must admit that being tired helps to drain away many unhappy thoughts.. i never once tot of anything unhappy while playing....so yeah..hope to be able to play more...so that i'll forget everything unhappy! =)

mood: SMILES!!!!!
Listening to: Mario Vasquez- Gallery

hmm..

2008-06-29T22:29:00.007+08:00

went to watch my bestie play in a game today
2-2..
although didnt win.. i still think he played well..
really brought back memories where i will go trainin with him everyday..
no matter hw tough trainin was..
no matter hw we got scolded..
we encouraged each other to toil on...

i wanna be able to play like in the past..
i wanna be fit again..

**i remembered u once watched me in training..
although i got scolded..n i got kicked around..
it didnt matter..
cos u were always there to give me massages n hugs n words of encouragements
and a peck on the cheek! thank you **

sighs..
if i knew this would happened..
i would never have put my whole into it..
im broken...

i wish i didnt made it clear...

*updates*
jus put down the fone with my best friend... hmm we talked bout primary sch.. sec sch.. poly..Gombak n Jurong... lol.. so many things we went thru together.. haha

i remembered he laughed at me when i cried at Pre-primary..
i remembered we got punished together in Pri 4 when we were in diff class..
i remembered in Pri 5 hw we got humiliated..
i remembered Sec 1 when we played soccer every Sat and eat Nasi Lemak at Ave 6
i remembered Sec 2 when the 4 of us joined FUCKIN choir...
i remembered Sec 2 when we ran away frm SYF practise and run back to sch..
i remembered Sec 2 when u guys changed me for the better...
i remembered Sec 3 when u consoled me & scolded me when i almost didnt make it to Sec 4..
i remembered Sec 3 when i got the Best player award and u were there to see me get it.
i remembered Sec 3 when i was No. 7 in sch team!!!! *loves*
i remembered Sec 3 when i scored a free kick...
i remembered Sec 4 when we passed fuckin o levels...
i remembered Poly year 1 when we joined Gombak u-18..
i remembered Poly year 2 when we were in NP sch team..
i remembered Poly year 3 when we joined Jurong.. &
i remembered Poly year 3.5.... need i say more??? hahahhaha

nw we are 23.... 17 years on.. we're still great together!!!!
hahah i wanna play soccer!!!

read jie jie's blog.. all i can say is my dearest elder sis!! Italy and portugal are both out... lols!!!!
and i hope u enjoyed Japan and Maldives!!! maybe i shud save up for taiwan or bkk?? but i need to save up for Perth!!!

Sis intro-ed this song.. "always be my baby by Mariah Carey" but its a rendition by David cook!!
thanks Sis!!!

"Time can't erase a feeling this strong
No way, you're never gonna shake me
Ooh darling, 'cause you'll always be my baby"


pic of my bear bear in central..with the rose i folded.


me..takin the pic for the FB card.

mood: leave me alone.
Listening to: David Cook- Always Be My Baby

im sorry..

2008-06-27T00:37:00.002+08:00

all i can say is..
sorry..

i really dont knw what i have to do..
shud i jus take the money n go do my course n nt go back?

confused.

maybe its true..im only good for one thing..
runnin away from reality...
i ran away once..and nw im gonna do it again?
sighs.. wished i didnt need to do it...

mood: confused
Listening to: Mariah Carey- bye bye.

what shud i do..

2008-06-25T01:29:00.002+08:00

i really dun knw.
anyway..

school's starting again!
this time.. Exercise Programmin and Introductory to Sports Nutrition.
=)

work's been nt so smoothsailing these few days..
alot of things going about..
bla bla bla..

*ps hope u like it*

mood: messy.
Listening to: Ne-yo- Do you

how are you?

2008-06-22T14:07:00.001+08:00

你最近还好吗?

Mood: dun knw.
Listening to: S.H.E- 你最近还好吗

drink drank drunk.

2008-06-21T03:41:00.002+08:00

hmm very very tired.
jus came back frm alps..a chillout place bon intro me.. been there for the past 3 days.. hmm 1st time bon brought me there to chill literally..jus the both of us and since han bing works there.. we went.. then on wed n then today we went again! Zervon joined us for the past 2 times.

didnt wanna drink..but dunno why i did..as usual gt rashes.. but nvm.. anyway.. today very sway..play 5-10 wiht them..i lost like alot of times...n got a lil high.. headache lo.. went to vomit a lil.. really dun wish to lead this kinda lifestyle again.. sian.. make me think of alot of things..

hahha at least i sang a few songs aso lah.. haha quite gd.. but long time no sing abit weird lorh hahaha...

haha..

today worked with Zervon, we opened shop till 11 pm today as Central gt midnite sales.. but apparently the ppl was nt there to shop...but was there to see show.. sales sucks.. hmm its been an really messy week.. dunno hw to say..

really really very tired... am glad i finally done my application for my 2nd semester!! cant wait for 2nd sem to start but a lil apprehensive about it again.. haha..
as i write this entry.. i still have alcohol flowin in me... errr blur blur de.. haha
anyway im going to bed le tmr still have to work.. niteS!

mood: =\
Listening to: Neyo and Rihanna- Hate that i love you

living in other's shadow..

2008-06-19T23:11:00.003+08:00

maybe im lost,
because its dark,
and there's no light to lead the way.

always in another's shadow,
the road ahead is even darker,
the road ahead is bleak,
the road ahead is unknown.

there may be a sharp bend,
that may be the end of the road,
what do you do?
Do you continue on this arduous journey,
or wait till visibility is better?

When can i walk out of the shadow?
When can i be my own star?
When?
Why is my life filled with tribulations?
why are there so many whys?
Why is it i dont have an answer to any of these whys?

Why are u so beautiful?
Why do u have to make my heart skip a beat,
everytime i see you?
Why am i so crazy for u?
If only there are answers to these whys.

i just hope to leave everythin status quo
i dun wish for anything to change,
but if it does im sorry.
Sorry i cant help things remain the same

Mood: mood to write.
Listening to: Mariah Carey- Bye Bye

emo..

2008-06-17T01:22:00.002+08:00

hmm..
its been eons since i blogged.. well..i dun knw wat to say..but i had a good day today... i saw.. "u knw who" firstly.. i wanna say thank u.. thank u for being understanding.. thanks u for lettin the ice break between us..

went for a drink after wrk.. well drank a few glasses... well.. think i had my usual bout of rashes after 2 cuppas of beer?? kinda upset.. well..emo songs...what do u expect.. well was kinda emo.. wishes sum1 could help ease my pain by helpin me scratch.. really wished that that sum1 would help me scratch my back... hahaha

sighs.. headache nw.. shudnt have drank that much...

mood: emotional
Listening to: Leona Lewis- Better In Time.

to: u knw who u are.

2008-05-27T16:07:00.003+08:00

*edited*

pointless.. period.

the mambo trio...

2008-05-27T02:07:00.004+08:00

hmm
at last we came together again....
we went drink n makan @ west coast park Mac...

had a ball of a time ..
talkin about mambo, feys, bla bla bla...
but most of all..
we all had the same reaction when we mentioned a single word "PUI!"

lol...
so funny....
its been so long since we sat like this and had a good chat...

to bon:
things will be fine.. u have my support... no matter what ppl say bout u, u have my support...

to qing:
thanks for always being there for me... although i dun say it..but u've been a great great friend that i have known... and luckily for FB and mambo...i got to know you! so.. yep!!!

to defamers:
i stand by him... nth will make me lose trust in this friend of mine..he may nt be the best person in the world.. but the things u ppl do make me disgusted and i will say that i stand by my good friend always... we will nt be affected by the things u ppl do or say. Dont let me find out who are u....
hee =)

hmm the pic of us 3 years ago...
we should take a new pic dont u think?

mood: great
Listening to: James Blunt- you're beautiful

Hmm..

2008-05-25T21:37:00.002+08:00

Many tots were running thru my mind today,
good n bad..
hmm...

i get to hang out with my dearest colleagues these days!! totally cant channel my frustrations out.. so i jus joke around with them..

saw levyne girl while workin at central the other day.... and she told me Xinyi was workin in central too...went up to find xinyi and chat a lil... such coincidence...

Huiqing came to find me(with some luck) haha..and she gt some loots frm mitju!! =X

lil things make me smile in times of trouble n turmoil...
all i can say is..
"Thank you ppl for bringing a smile to Leonard's face... really thank you.."

Been hooked on a korean drama these days...
its called Snow Queen... very nice.. =)
EMo LAH!!!!!

mood: messed up
Listening to: Ne-yo -Go on Girl.

bleedin love.. Emo songs... studyin.

2008-05-25T00:24:00.002+08:00

I dun knw hw to describe hw i feel nw...
today never work.. went down to vivo look for ah teck n gina n bernard(lisiao him abit)
aso went central to see who work there today... was wenzhao n evelyn...

hee ^^

then wanted to go sch n study...but lazy to walk there..
so i settled down at subway central to study.... managed to study a few chapters in a few hours till the stupid violin thingy started and i gt restless....

went back to central to chat with evelyn n wz.. then studied abit in the storeroom...gt aircon.. haha they v gd they outside talk kok..but nv disturb me.. till i bth... i left in abit.. hais.. v stressed up with things these days.. i dun really knw hw to feel anymore.. Sad? Numb? i really dont knw....

this song is intro to me by Gina... haha.. EMo lah!!!!!

Maybe this decision was a mistake
You probably don't care what I have to say
But it's been heavy on my mind for months now
Guess I'm trying to clear some mental space

I would love to talk to you in person
But I'll understand why that can't be
I'll leave you alone for good, I promise
If you answer this one question for me

I just wonder
Do you ever
Think of me
Anymore
Do you

First off let me say Congratulations
Heard that you just had a baby Girl
If she looks anything like her mother
she is the prettiest thing in the world

Swear that im not tryna start no trouble
Tell your fiance he can relax
I'll leave you alone for good I promise
Theres a question I've just got to ask.

I just wonder
Do you ever
Think of me
Anymore
Do you?

I know what we had is dead and gone
Too many times I made you cry
And I don't mean to interrupt your life
I just wonder Do I ever cross your mind?

I just wonder
Do you ever
Think of me
Anymore
Do you?
I just wonder
Do you ever
Think of me
Anymore
Do you?
I just wonder
Do you ever
Think of me
Anymore
Do you?

Mood: Numb
Listening to: Ne-yo - Do you

mambo

2008-05-15T12:36:00.004+08:00

mambo...
was...
fun...

went with bon n mich...
well.. had a lot of feelings when i heard "You Came" and "Cross my heart"... those images of me dancing in front of that sum1 jus rushed into my throbbin head... i danced... but i've lost my smile... im no longer enjoying... i remember years back when i actually see ppl dancing and then suddenly they break down... particularly a sum1... well i can imagine all the pain.. when u have to tell urself everything is fine when its nt..and suddenly u jus break down...

u jus crumble under the intense pressure...

school's been a bitch.. i didnt do well for my assignment...its a group assignment.. so yeah factors lar... and i managed to pass my physiology exam 2...... luckily... sighs... i must really study hard.. hmm anyway.. gtg

i want get a tattoo!!! lookin for a cheap n reliable one... its only 1 chinese character that i wanna tat.. haha

mood: down
Listening to: Keyshia Cole feat. P diddy- Last night

tough..

2008-05-14T11:47:00.000+08:00

life is not complicated..
like xinyi said in her blog.....
its us who makes life complicated....

studies been a bitch lately..

hmm..

2008-05-04T15:38:00.000+08:00

havent been feelin in the best of health.
been having bouts of rashes these days...
and i dont knw why..

been arguing with my parents lately..
really want all this shit to stop...

i really feel v tired..
i have no more energy to fight with u guys.

busy with work n stuff these days..
really tired....

*update* i passed my basic theory..and am applying for the coaching license...
need moneyy!!!!!!

mood: neutral
Listening to: Xue Kai Qi & Fang Da Tong- Fu Ke Hui Yi

if only.

2008-04-29T03:53:00.000+08:00

things havent been gd for me..
sighs..
im really so so so stressed out by the things happening to me...
finally...
i broke...

didnt like it when mom asked me bout work..
i knw work is taking alot of my time.. but im making up by studyin at night...
havent been sleeping well these days...
lotsa nitemares and interrupted slp..
it didnt help that im sleepin at 4 every morning and wakin up at 9...
im really tired... and i need some support...but nth is going right at the moment..
and its v tough... its so hard.. who can i blame?

the tears jus kept flowing... and i've tot of ******.
jus wished that ****** was there to give me a hug n tell me its ok..
but..
it hurt that its jus my wishful thinkin.......
then again..
who can i blame?

i knw i did ok for my last exam...but every1 in class did ok too...
i dunwan to be like in the past..regretting every single thing that i did or didnt ...
having a paper later....gotta study...

mood: tired n very down
Listening to: Angela Zhang Shao Han- Qing Ai De Na Bu Shi Ai Qing.

yes!

2008-04-16T15:55:00.000+08:00

dont knw if anybody will read this!
but yes!!! i passed my Mid Exam 1 for Physiology!!!!

haha 34/50 lol..freak larh....1 mark away frm 70%.... haha

Elated man!

mood: gd!
Listening to: Roxette- Dangerous

what can i say?

2008-03-24T10:00:00.000+08:00

everythin i do...
i do it for u...

mood: =)
Listening to: Bryan Adams- Everything i do(i do it for u)

the tot of dying..

2008-03-22T14:23:00.000+08:00

sometimes...
you jus wished that u can jus die... n nt think of anything..
no troubles....

im nt sayin suicide...but rather u wished that something happen to u...
im nt suicidal.. dont worry... jus occasionally think that mayb i shudnt even exist..

i really wanna leave here... and start of somewhere...no choice.. think i gotta finish my degree...
once i finish my deg..i may most likely ask to stay else where... maybe Perth..maybe somewhere else....

went for mambo on wednesday...
it was huiqing's bday... and many of the regulars were there...those that i havent seen for a long time.... michelle went... bon went too....
i had fun nevertheless... but it was different....
i knw the reason and i aint saying... =X

thurs was nt a gd day..
dun knw why i became so short fused....
but i was frustrated... i knw that im nt tat bad... but i cant help but feel inferior at times.... and when i feel that im being compared(it may be out of oversensitivity) i become defensive, fed up and short tempered....i start to be aggresive cos thats the only way i can hide my innermost feeling of inferiority and low confidence...

Thought of a lot of things.. and was v stressed up with studies... Dad asked me " hw do u think u can be better than the others in ur class?"
Seriously.... FUCK LA.... hw the hell do u want me to answer u... that ur son is fucked up and he cant be better? that ur son needs fuckin 2x more time than others to retain the same amount of info in his brain???

i have alot of problems already...cant u fuckin see im tryin to do my best? im tryin to handle so many things.. that i've become crazy.. i think i need a fuckin shrink. why do u want to give me unnecessary stress?? im trying... WHY Does Nobody knws IM FUCKING TRYIN MY BEST IN EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!

you never gave me encouragements...
you rant at me for doing things nt up to ur standard......
what is ur standard?
The mess i am today....is ur fuckin fault... from young till nw.. i never once bounced back... becos of u... u never gave me the encouragement that a young boy needs to get his feet back onto firm ground...

i gt so frustrated that i went for a run at 1 am.... sorry that i had to worry sum1.... but i ran 7km.... i didnt knw where i had the energy to...im usually v lazy ... 3 or 4 km and im quits.. but i ran the whole 7 km... without stopping...and ended up super wet... almost blacked out after that... it didnt help that i had to run into 4 wild dogs that chased me along the way... till i was too fast for them....

end of the day.... what did i achieve...NTH... i wanted to study summore after the run...but i was too fuckin tired.. that i slpt till this morning...so ya here i am...

mood: lousy
Listening to: Sylvester Sim- Xi Wang(Hope)

cross my heart

2008-03-13T13:20:00.000+08:00

Hypnotised, with just one look at you,
I'm paralysed
I can't explain why just one touch of you
Drives me insane

You've got me head over heels
You better believe it
Baby, and I know how it feels

Cross my heart
Hope to die
May lightning strike me if I'm telling a lie
Cross my heart
I swear it's true
I've never loved anyone more than I'm loving you
Cross my heart, it's true

Heavenly, Something happens when you're next to me
I get chills
You can ask me anything and baby I will
You've got me out of control
You better believe it
Baby from my head down to my toes

Cross my heart
Hope to die
May lightning strike me if I'm telling a lie
Cross my heart
I swear it's true
I've never loved anyone like I'm loving you
Cross my heart, it's true

You're my valentine every month of the year
Baby really shine I'm so happy when you're here
I want you all the time
Am I making myself clear
My love's gonna last forever

haha anyway... some pics from Brandon n Dorothy's weddin... hehe.. =)

me with my lil sis!!! hehe smart eh??

me with my nephew, Rayner.

today no go mambo... rest hehe..
next week ah...

mood: sian
Listening to: Eighth Wonder- Cross my heart

useless me...

2008-03-05T16:08:00.000+08:00

although someone told me that im nt useless..
i decided to blog bout this incident to get the frustrations out...

why issit that if i forgot to do smth makes me a procrastinator?
why issit that i ever failed once, im deemed a failure?
why issit that the failure does smth to prove he isnt, he's still a failure?
why issit no matter what he does, its jus not right?

what does it say about that person? numbskull?

sigh..

why cant he give me encouragements?
why cant he be more supportive of me?
why cant he nt be so negative bout me?

why...

fathers are nt supposed to discourage..
fathers are supposed to support n encourage...
fathers are role models..
fathers are ppl whom sons look up to...

FUCK LA

mood: low confidence.
Listening to: V6- change the world

sighs.

2008-03-04T14:30:00.000+08:00

have you people actually felt ur hearts sank before?
i did..
and it hurts alot... so much...

sighs.. i was havin a good talk with someone...
and i realised why some ppl can be so ANAL...
why do they have to change wat you say..
why
why cant they tell the real things instead??

i've learn to not believe in anal ppl already..
i try to not believe in ppl... and keep to myself ..
i think its takin a toll on me...

on the brighter side...
im going to ORD reallly soon!!!!
*smells freedom*
started on my lessons already and im really stressed up leh...
jus hope i can do well...

*love love*

mood: sian..
Listening to: Maroon 5- This Love

Fixing a broken heart..

2008-02-26T09:17:00.000+08:00

There was nothing to say the day you left
I just filled a suitcase full of regrets
I hailed a taxi in the rain
Looking for some place to ease the pain, ooh
Then like an answered prayer
I turned around and found you there...

* You really know where to start
Fixing a broken heart
You really know what to do
Your emotional tools can't cure any fool
Whose dreams have fallen apart
Fixing a broken heart...mmm

And now I don't understand what I'm going through
Must be a plan that led me to you
Because the hurt just disappears
In every moment that you are near, yeah
Just like an answered prayer
You make the loneliness easy to bear

mood: hurt
Listening to: Indecent Obsession- Fixin a Broken Heart

wow.. after so long?

2008-02-23T16:03:00.000+08:00

im back after so long!!
haha

wanna say... im going to ord really soon..
soon is like 2 weeks from now!!!!
arhhh!!!! cant wait for the big date... its finally over !!!!!

hmm and im embarking on a new journey!
im gonna start my degree in Exercise and Sports Science really soon....
and im kinda excited... hope i would do well! i wanna work hard at it...
im afraid.. to disappoint everyone!
sighs...
i know many ppl have high expectations of me that i will do well this time!
so therefore the greater pressure i have on myself that i must meet their expectations..
=\

many things going on in my life now..
i jus wanna say..
GANBATTE!!!!

mood: ok
Listening to: Zhou Jie Lun- Tian Tian De.

jay's concert..

2008-01-20T16:09:00.000+08:00

hey..
jus a random update...dont really have the mood to do so after a long update n maintenance of the "other" site.

anyway...
went for jay's concert last nite...
and i enjoyed it a lot...although it wasnt as good as 3 years go..
this concert brought about lots of memories too!!

well i jus wanna be happy lar.
lol!
but i was super tired yest....towards the end of the concert..i felt my sleep time kick in... haha felt so tired..
went home n KO-ed haha

Listening to: Zhou Jie Lun- Cai Hong
mood: Okay

i feel down.

2008-01-02T14:53:00.000+08:00

im bored.
i wanna go perth right now..

Listening to : Eason Chen- Yu Gan
Mood: Sian.

i feel down.

2008-01-01T22:53:00.000+08:00

Christmas Christmas Time is Here!

2007-12-26T20:55:00.000+08:00

As the topic goes..
its Christmas!!!!! Merry Christmas to All.

Had a family dinner at my auntie's place as usual.. hee so much fun, so much food and so much catchin up to do within the family. Got few presents!!!
Got Cash!!!!! and also got a perfume from Sis...thanks lots!

Christmas Day
Went to have dinna @ soonyong's place.. haha..it was fun..seeing the guys there..
peeps who went were:
Soonyong
Dawn
Weixiang aka Bon
Angel
Me!!!
Dingsheng
Ah Sen n gf.
Kelvin + Weijian => long time no see!!!!

We had steamboat and kebabs(Soonyong prepare de.... =X but it was good lar..)....We had pasta and we even played on the mini pool table with mini balls and also played with gigantic cards!!! ( the things that need to be big are small and the things that are supposed to be small are big) What is wrong?? haha... also had 1 Pok of mahjong... hmm lost $1.20.. not bad for a noobie!!! Bon was the BIG WINNER!!!! bleh =P..

Finally, we had a gift exchange.... i bought a wine carrier bag....nice! Soonyong got it.. haha and i got Ah Sen's present... A Nike water bottle and socks!!! mwhaha nice!

Ended the day with a few hours of K at kbox clementi... so fun...
hope to have a few more outings with them!!!!!

Pics!!!!

One more picture which i took with Kaixiang n Buddy at Xiang En's Weddin...

mood: Good!
Listening to: Britney Spears- Gimme More

Long weekend..

2007-12-02T16:21:00.000+08:00

i've booked out on a thurs nite..
but i've been home since then..

no money,
no mood,
no time,
no energy and
no one to ask me out.

im lost.... once again.

feeling? Hurt. again.

Mood: sad.
Listening to: Zhang Hui Mei- Ting Ni Ting Wo

pics!

2007-11-25T17:03:00.000+08:00

pics!!!

haha

Me and my bunkmates..
Buddy, Kaixiang and Guanghao.

pic at youyi's n fred's 21st bday bbq.
Bravo Platoon 1

pic at benny's 21st
plt1 again.

Listening to: Lin Zhi Xuan- Li Ren
Mood: Confused

back!

2007-10-27T11:58:00.000+08:00

as promised.. im back!

i just realised i havent been updating my blog for such a long time already.

So.... How do i start?

After ndp was over... it was back to my normal regimental lifestyle in camp.
Back to our normal bridging lifestyles..
more stuffs to be busy about..

Started our m3g conversion course in September... which reminded me of the days where we were trainin as m2 pioneers... tough trainin which made us all tougher than we first were before we enlisted and even after BMT...
Although m3g isnt as difficult to handle, but months of work away from our normal stuff made it seemed tough! lol..

*Jus a lil bit more!!! 4 more mths... Love my bunkmateS!..they're the funniest ppl to be with!*
we rock!!!!!!

Away from ns stuff..
havent been hanging out with Gary n co. for a long period of time...
went for Bon's chalet cum bbq 2 weeks ago..
had a good chat with the guys + levyne girl... realised we didnt go to the beach to have a good game of vball! oh! how i miss those days.. i really do...

*lev girl... i just hope that you are ok... take good care of yourself... and thanks for always being there for me... miss ya so much!*

hmm gonna post up some pics ba.. well jus wanna say thanks for droppin by guys!! =)

LeOooOo

Mood: ok!
Listening to: Ella- Qiang Qiang

long time no post

2007-10-21T03:28:00.001+08:00

update soon K!

bodohleo

its been awhile...

2007-07-22T16:11:00.000+08:00

updates!
its been awhile since i updated this about-to-rot blog of mine.. haha
no choice...i've been really busy wiht my ns schedule...
Ndp rehearsals.... argh!!!! 2 more weeks to go haha... some pics..

1st of all the F16-s

the fireworks curtain @ the sheares Bridge where im located below..

Finally, the fireworks during the finale.....nice!

that day..we had deployment training in camp... haha .. was quite a hot day and we had to go outfield..so it was quite tiring n energy drainin lor..but still manage to take some pics.. mwahha!

does it look like war???

with my rifle n my buddy and me!!!!

and lastly a pic before mambo!

took off on wed to go for the zouk mambo jambo cd launch... didnt manage to win the ipod shuffle...but had fun nevertheless...cant wait to mambo again!!! haha
off approved cos i cleared my 2nd year SOC test le! mwahaha =)

mood: tired.
Listening to: S.H.E- Ting Yuan Wei Ren Tan Ji Ta

emo...

2007-06-30T10:54:00.000+08:00

im feelin indignified
im feelin angry
im feelin hurt
im feelin pain
im feelin tired(mentally n physically)
im feelin sooo unlucky

i Came home on a friday afternoon...thinkin i would have a really good rest as well as pass the CR2 tix to my gran...

neway...met up with qing at kopitiam for la kopi session....been missin out alot..really wanna go mambo soon! *wonder how xuanie is*...

For you peeps tryin to contact me via my mobile...Sorry..but am uncontactable for this period of time cos my phone's been stolen! FUCK. Well..wait a lil..cos i'll be back for your contacts yep?
You guys can leave me a msg on friendster...or just email me k...will try to look thru my mails asap...will be busy due to ndp rehearsals =)

mood: indignified
Listening to: Belinda Carlisle- Summer Rain

Christina Aguilera- Hurt

2007-06-25T15:53:00.000+08:00

Seems like it was yesterday
When I saw your face
You told me how proud you were,
But I walked away
If only I knew what I know today
Ooh, ooh

I would hold you in my arms
I would take the pain away
Thank you for all you've done
Forgive all your mistakes
There's nothing I wouldn't do
To hear your voice again
Sometimes I wanna call you
But I know you won't be there

Oh, I'm sorry for blaming you
For everything I just couldn't do
And I've hurt myself by hurting you

Some days I feel broke inside
But I won't admit
Sometimes I just wanna hide
'Cause it's you I miss
And it's so hard to say goodbye
When it comes to this, ooh

Would you tell me I was wrong?
Would you help me understand?
Are you looking down upon me?
Are you proud of who I am?

There's nothing I wouldn't do
To have just one more chance
To look into your eyes
And see you looking back

Oh, I'm sorry for blaming you
For everything I just couldn't do
And I've hurt myself, oh

If I had just one more day
I would tell you how much that I've missed you
Since you've been away
Ooh, it's dangerous
It's so out of line
To try and turn back time

I'm sorry for blaming you
For everything I just couldn't do
And I've hurt myself..
By hurting you

Leo's crib

its been ages man.

my conscience is clear.

开不了口让你知道。

hmm

yoga - 说谎。

update....

深夜两点。。

不开心。

Save me from ur mind fucking.

sighs..

a test of love...

孤独一人在central.

失望。。

好想回到过去。。

花茶，书 和 娱乐。。

miserable... =..(

unforgettable..

看见了你

Leo 好介绍时间。

失眠症！

to you.

WoRST DAY oF MY LIFE

abt me...

好想念你。。。

don't knw what to blog.. + mixed feelings.

我们都累了

true true

=S

aussie land

about Leos...

i like my own space..

back!!!

hello

hi

bad day at work..

兩個人不等於我們

its been awhile..

突然好想你

最怕空气突然安静最怕朋友突然的关心最怕回忆突然翻滚绞痛着不平息最怕突然听到你的消息想念如果会有声音不愿那是悲伤的哭泣事到如今终於让自已属於我自已只剩眼泪还骗不过自己突然好想你你会在哪里过的快乐或委屈

突然好想你突然锋利的回忆突然模糊的眼睛

guilty..

Fantastique, Zirkus Zirkus and Xmas with my loved ones frm FB..

squeezed in post..

updates.

=)

hhmm....

la la..

100 questions....koped frm Royston....

cant wait.

what did i do..

err..

l..........................................................e.....i

Joanna Wang 王若琳 - 有你的快乐

失眠....

few good days...

又撞墙了.....

不开心的一天

失恋无罪

tired...

pain..

sighs..

hmm

oT for vintage n mitju.

dreams.reality.

stay tuned.

craaazy week

mambo..n a craaazy week ahead.

Fb farewell steamboat for Adrian.. and updates!

hmm..

im sorry..

what shud i do..

how are you?

drink drank drunk.

living in other's shadow..

emo..

to: u knw who u are.

the mambo trio...

Hmm..

bleedin love.. Emo songs... studyin.

花茶，书和娱乐。。

突然好想你
突然锋利的回忆
突然模糊的眼睛