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Tuesday, April 26, 2005 >> decision making

i've reached a phase in my life....
tat i told myself.......
i cant ignore what ppl tell me..... it seems wat they say are makin sense...
of cos i hope it aint tat way.... becos im stubborn.....
i can give up everything............
but now.....?
i haf to make that major decision....
i need support..... sighs...

mood: confused.
listening to: Dreamz Fm- should i stay


fisherman's fren: leo ranted @
2:31 AM


Saturday, April 23, 2005 >> its been a while

its been a while since i last blogged.
feel kinda lost today. Attachment is boring and nothing is good about in house attachment. this sux.
Yesterday, got results... didnt get my 2 Bs but got 2 C+s instead.... awwww crap.... aniwae went out with yong n nana last nite...... Today, went to sch for attachment as usual... yong came late... we slacked around for most of the day today, except there were certain times we had to get busy ... did my TOR n powerpoint presentations.
Recently, i've been slpin early(NOT THE USUAL ME) . I dont know why i cant seem to last the nite anymore.
hai...
oh ya, today ah si, sam , sen they all went to Bugis to celebrate Mabel's Birthday. didnt wanna go becos no money plus tired and all that. Anywae....
Happy Birthday to you , Mabel....

aniwae its been awhile since i blogged so i cant think of wat to write already...so chao!

mood: okies
Listening to: F.I.R- 把爱放开


fisherman's fren: leo ranted @
4:25 PM


Wednesday, April 13, 2005 >> why am i feelin that way....

why am i feelin the way im feeling now.... am i not gonna come out of depression?
im tired...
im fat...
why am i actin the way before my friends but in fact im actually feelin the opposite?
im no longer the leonard all you people once know...
im no longer the leonard tat once cheered EVERYBODY up... no longer the
"kai xin guo"
im no longer the leonard who once knows how to help others......
im no longer the man i am...
im useless....
so useless.....
im breaking down....
why am i feelin moody..
why does my heart hurt so much...
why does my heart yearn for someone so much..... now

what can i do people.... how can i save myself?

mood: not good
Listening to: Coldplay- why does it always rain on me.....


fisherman's fren: leo ranted @
11:20 AM


Monday, April 04, 2005 >> exams, late nights......

exams, exams, exams...
they're finally over.
3 years of poly life and exams are over.
no more exams anymore till i start my uni again....
all those late nites of studyin.... of dozin off on my table....
are finally over....
now....
projects n attachment awaits me...
my baby awaits me......

im tired..... n depressed...
im upset with the way i look now...... im fat... fair... and haf lotsa pimples.....
im demoralised.... lost the confidence........ i must find back my confidence....
i must find back the leo ..... the confident leo that lets nothing get to him....
i must render the help of my baby.. my friends.....
soccer used to be the only thing im proud of.... now? its no longer.... i feel sad
i cant play as well... my knees aint feelin too good ... i think its cause of my weight....
i dont want to juz lose the talent i've gathered for 16 years......... i wanna still be one of the
few that ppl look up to when it comes to the beautiful game
i need to breathe fresh air....
the air that can make me feel like a new person.....
but that can only come in September........
i feel so tight in da chest....
save me.....

mood: depressed
Listening to: Sun Yan Zi- 遇见


fisherman's fren: leo ranted @
1:56 PM


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