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Tuesday, July 26, 2005 >> erm... monday..

well today was a monday,
very mundane monday lol.
was ziliang's birthday. Celebrated with pizzas for lunch lol.

here's a msg to my buddies:
To Thomas, Gary and Kang.
sorry for not being able to meet up with u guys for such a long time.
i know i might have been mia for awhile now but i hope u guys understand i got
project and stuff. Now that things are more free i hope to meet up with u guys soon and go out okie? heeee can go zouk if u guys want to lol! hahaha

alright so had a meetin after office hours. wad a drag.
after meetin me yong n nana headed to town to meet Jer n Jess for a movie.
Was supposed to watch Be With Me. but we couldnt make it in time cos of the delay from the meeting.
we ended up watchin Red Candy. Horror show with twists of plots here and there. Overall a good show.... Rate it 4 stars out of 5. hmm.. well im now online waiting hope to be ablee to tok to Angela..
shes only been gone for the 3rd day. but i miss her like crazy. well. heee
take care okie girl?
heee
im ending my entry here n now.. for now...
take care..

listening to: Jason Donovan- Too many broken hearts
mood: melancholic.


fisherman's fren: leo ranted @
2:31 PM


Sunday, July 24, 2005 >> late nite tots.

hmm didnt noe for a 20 year old i could think so much..so much till the extend it hurts...
i dunno if im naive or not...
so many things are kept from me.
if i had not went around lookin at other's blog i would not have found out actually so much things are being kept from me..

why do i trust ppl so mcuh.. and end up gettin hurt... one who i treat as my own sister..actually betrayed me.. she knew.. but yet she still did somethin which i feel i can never forgive her for....
call me narrow minded but i dont give a shit.

im sick n tired of givin my all to everyone yet dont feel that they appreciate what i have done. Nobody appreciates what i haf done for them. Do they even KNOW what i did, what i put in.

ask around. how i treat ppl. why do i always haf to get this kinda shit. i dunno if i can ever trust anyone the same way.... it sux.. why do ppl lie. why do ppl hide stuff. why can they be open about it. why hide this from that and that from this. aww crap. i always give my best only to get back unrequitted feelings. why cant they show a lil appreciation?

mayb right now the oni person who really noes how i feel is cloney. since she came back to singapore. shes been thru thick n thin with me .... whether its my joy, my sadness. shes there with me. she cries when i do. she smiles when i do. are we really linked by telepathy? nobody really knows...while in uk. she felt sad when i did. and almost the next moment she msged me on msn sayin shes down and i did the same too. im grateful to what cloney has done for me. she wrote me a card before she returned. and i still kept it.shes such a sweet girl. im thankful that shes there for me all these while. Although Simpang bedok's really far. but i still managed to go there 3 times to hang out with cloney and the east siders ( J and Adr).
Cloney: though the road ahead may not be smooth sailin for u and I. But just know that i'll be there for ya when ya need me. and i hope u too will be there for me.. I trust you..hope u trust me tooo..

Trust.... something which is so hard to gain...
i can never trust someone the way i did before anymore....
secrets told and leaked... my own stuff becomes the stuff that haunts and attack me.. my own words used against me.....

irony

to those ppl: FUCK YOU all if you doubt me. you dont even noe me. you dont even noe what i am. you dont even noe whats goin on. So stop guessin and get a life. even if i was trash. im proud of myself. At least im true. im True to the person i love. im true to the ppl around me. i dotn go around fakin my friendship. i dotn take ppl for granted. you can jolly well lick my balls and go cryin on ur knees one day if you knew. Stop doin shitty stuff. you digust me.


fisherman's fren: leo ranted @
7:26 PM


Saturday, July 23, 2005 >> she left..... again..

once again...
she left...
heavy hearts. welled up eyes.
i say goodbye
many hugs with the hope
that you'll be fine

take care,
till then

lots of love,
Leonard

Listening to: eighth wonder- cross my heart
mood: heavy


fisherman's fren: leo ranted @
4:17 PM


Friday, July 22, 2005 >> food for tot...

an interesting bulletin i came across in wl's blog:

If you're afraid to love a person because of friendship, you have two choices: either tell what you feel and let the love take place or hide the feeling under a friendship full of pretensions. It's hard for two people to love each other when they live in two different worlds but when these two worlds collide and become one, that's what you call magic!Love can never be so beautiful without friendship.One leads to another and the process is irreversible. The best of lovers is the greatest of friends! I like you because you're my friend, and because you are my friend I care, and because I care, I love you. I don't love you because you are my friend, I love you because I do!Sometimes I've asked myself, what would make me happy? To think that I have everything else, I get what I want. Then I realized it was YOU, too bad 'cause it's you i can't have. I can't choose who I'm gonna love, but I also can't love who chooses to love me. And you can't blame me in choosing to love you as much as I can't blame you for not learning to love me. I'm sorry if you can't love me the way youloved the one before me, so I'll let you go find him/her and hope someday you'll see that the one true love you're looking for was the one who set you free."How can I say goodbye to someone I never had? Why do tears fall for someone who was never mine?Why is that I miss someone I was never with and Iask why I love someone who's love was never mine?"Isn't it funny we're trying to catch the attention of the one we think we love; we hardly notice the one we're really looking for was just there. You don't notice them 'till they are in the arms of someone else.Food for thought, think of this: Have you really cared for someone more than you expected?Have you ever tried to love him/her despite of all the pain? Will you keep on loving him/her as he/she whispers someone else's name? Will you?It's better to lose your pride with someone you love rather than lose that someone you love withyour useless pride. When you love someone, don't expect that person to love you back the same amount. One of you will be head, the other behind. It's either you catch up or the other waits. When you love, you must not expect anything in return, for if you do, you're not loving but Investing. If you love, you must prepare to accept pain, for if you expect happiness, you're not loving but using.True love hears what is not spoken, and understands what is not explained, for love doesn't work in the mouth, nor the mind, but in the heart...Love is like standing on wet cement, the longer you stay the harder it is to leave and you can never go without leaving your prints behind.Don't love a person like a flower, because a flower dies in season. Love them like a river because a river flows forever. Love doesn't have to have a happy ending, 'cause love doesn't have to end at all.Never be afraid to fall in love. It may hurt alot, it may give you aches and pains, but if you don't follow your heart, in the end you will cry even more for not giving love a chance. Love may leave your heart like shattered glass, but keep in mind that there's someone who'll be willing to endure the pain of picking up the pieces so you could be whole again.The cruelest thing a guy could do to a girl is to let her fall in love when he doesn't intend to catch her fall! And fooling around with her feelings like they meant nothing. (This goes for gals as well)

Anywae i saw weiling, thomas and eileen yest at zouk. Saw weijie at cine... hmm lol.. was as usual for the 3rd week in a row dancin on the podium with lebon, yang angela joy, tom they all. haha last week's music was great and fantastic enjoyd it. but this week wasnt that good.. lol.. anyway thats all i gotta go le...

mood: ok lor.
Listening to : Al Corley- Square Rooms


fisherman's fren: leo ranted @
11:28 AM


Wednesday, July 20, 2005 >> so many things to say.. so little time so little space

firstly..
sorry peeps for not updatin my blog often....been busy this week..... and last week..
really upset that things were not going my way....
presentation were screwed up... wear so nice aso no use! pui! guess it oni works for girls.. lol..
okay firstly..
wanna apologise to somone..
sorry i had screwed things up just when everything was goin on so great for ya... i know i did some things that were so uncalled for.. i donno how to explain but i guess dat i really disappointed and upsetted u...
maybe u start to lose trust in me, mayb u start to not want to be around me, but what i can say is.. dont stop trustin me...really sorry...i promise not to upset u with unnecessary troubles again.... pls dont be upset.. it hurts me too... sorry...really many apologies... sincerely from the bottom of my heart...

listenign to : huang yi da- na nu hai dui wo shuo
mood: sad.


fisherman's fren: leo ranted @
4:04 PM


Wednesday, July 13, 2005 >> something worth pondering upon

got this from rie's blog....

I fear not the tears and pain.
I fear the loss of your love and your trust
I fear not the darkness in the night
I fear god keeps you away from my sight

exactly how i really think now. Thats why sotong sis and me can click.
sometimes her quotes really hit the raw nerve. *ouch!*

*to yixian: lol of cos u aso leh! hahaha

mood: thinkin mood
Listening to: Till The End


fisherman's fren: leo ranted @
12:12 AM


Thursday, July 07, 2005 >> jogging....tired.

yest i had my first proper nite rest in awhile after a jog with Lebon. We ran 5 km, i havent been feelin too good. Project is not going my way, everything is not goin my way. My friends around me all upset. sian. Sorry yangs, i should have told you earlier, pls forgive me. Dont be upset, dont be disillusioned.

Things havent been well for me for the past one month. But i got good support from friends.
thanx for all the support as usual.
Angela,
Levine,
Rie,
Jess,
J
Yangs,
Adrain
Jayce

thanks to you peeps for standin by me.

Had a dream last nite, was the nite of my wedding. me and my classmates. Yong, bon , ah si, sam they all.... we were all wearing suits. we looked so handsome. Lol... was wondering if that day would come, would the gal i love marry me. haha i hope so... right now i guess mayb things ought to be taken slowly. I dont wanna rush anything cos i know she might freak out. I just hope that we can spend a tat more time together. Well anyway, sorry peeps for not updating, laptop having problems now.... and so many pics i wanna post but havent send to me cos i havent been online. hahha

for my friends: pls take care....especially yangs, i have a great time gettin to know you better these days. to J, haha you too, cant wait for a few more days yar? erm hmm... we'll talk privately about this yar.

Listening to: Jason Donovan- Too Many Broken Hearts
mood: okay.


fisherman's fren: leo ranted @
2:39 AM


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