Saturday, April 15, 2006 >> depression

i wonder why izzit during every bookout...the tears just start to fall...
why...
im out of control.
can anybody help me??

mood: not good...
Listening to: Jason Donovan- Too Many Broken Hearts



Monday, April 10, 2006 >> i want to leave...

i want to go away..
i want to go somewhere else where i dont see happy ppl together..
i want to go australia..
melbourne? perth? Brisbane?

melbourne? i haf got friends in melbourne....
Perth? i haf my auntie n cousin in perth..and i can study there..
brisbane? i haf my auntie there..

i wanna run away from everything thats here...im really feeling damn miserable..i've lost..to myself, to them..i wanna run ...i wanna hide.. but i cant leave my granny here....



>> clarification

just read a bulletin from friendster..
i realised the hurt i inflicted...
im utterly depressed now..
promised to do something n i shall do it now..

to the ppl who was involved in my quarrels with angela..
i dont know how to start..
but she didnt betray me..
i on the hand did betray her trust..
i showed others our blog which i promised not to.
i used that to tell others..
i drag u guys to side me against her..

but there is something i must say which is..
i haf never intended to do all this..
there were words that were changed out of its original context..
misunderstandings built upon misunderstandings..
words were too harsh..and rship strained.
it did hurt our rship further..
and it hurt her friendship with others...

all i can say is..
im sorry...
to angela, to jess..to everyone



Sunday, April 09, 2006 >> gran's 75 years bash and love....

hmm okay..
today is sunday..booked out for this weekend le..goin back in today again..had a great family dinna last nite....cos it was my gran's birthday...hmm 75 years old.. wow was a lil guilty cos i didnt buy any present for her...but i gotta get a present next week.. actually had plan to get a present with someone... hmm well doesnt matter now.. well dinner was great @ nuss at suntec city... it was an open concept thingy.. and they had grilled stuff as well as potato with sour cream and bacon bits.. ahhhh should haf took a picture of the food stuff..hmm they had lamb chops too!!! mm
grilled lamb chops with mint sauce..just perfect... the last time i cooked lamb chops was great too lol haha...*proud*

ok.. elder sis went to San Franscisco so i didnt get to see her this weekend... well read her blog and got a quote from a movie... which i find so sweet n nice...mayb i'll go get that movie n watch yar.. haha

the quote goes
Daydream, delusion, limousine, eyelash
Oh baby with your pretty face
Drop a tear in my wineglass
Look at those big eyes
See what you mean to me
Sweet-cakes and milkshakes
I'm delusion angel
I'm fantasy parade
I want you to know what I think
Don't want you to guess anymore
You have no idea where I came from
We have no idea where we're going
Latched in life
Like branches in a river
Flowing downstream
Caught in the current
I'll carry you
You'll carry me
That's how it could be
Don't you know me?
Don't you know me by now?



Monday, April 03, 2006 >>

hmm...
feelin alot of things now..
was talkin to somebody about mistakes made...
mistakes are part and parcel of life that people make..
once in a while, or maybe quite often... ppl made a mistake.
many levels of mistakes make,
minor ones, grave ones, unforgivable ones..

minor ones are those that can be forsaken..
grave ones are those that cannot be forsaken but yet.. forgivable...
unforgivable ones...maybe to cheat on your partner...and maybe murder.

i remember seeing an advertisement on tv..showin an ex convict with alot of tattoos talkin to a child and this woman in the car lookin thru her rear mirror with "colored eyes".
it turned out to be the little girl's father when his wife came along.

wats the point im tryin to make here?
does makin a mistake makes u a condemned person forever?
yes no doubt it will stain your reputation. but why not give that person a chance to atone for his sins. why pass him the death sentence. why not let him prove to everyone he is a changed person... he is one with maturity and that he understands the way of the world now? if only words were understood better, intentions were better intepreted.. then things would never turn ugly, things would never be the way it was...for now. and now.. the answers can only be answered by one person.

mood: sick
Listening to: you spin me right



Sunday, April 02, 2006 >> army sucks!!! nah actually its okay...

haha..
finally posting an entry...3 weeks in the national service...finally im here to blog.. haha..
well well well...
this week is my 2nd book out week... last week was spent watching movie, clubbin @ dbl O(have to make do with that cos i cant go mambo)... hmm..
gotta say..
i hate the short breaks... its realllllllly short.
recently life hasnt been all that good...
in the army..
you'll tend to get homesick... and you start to get depressed...but its the loved ones that keep u going. keeps your determination sky high when the goin gets tough.. definitely some of my loved ones kept me going...
one concern of mine which i still cant stop worrying is my grandma... dont know who is there to accompany her... i hope someone can accompany her so that she wont feel lonely. *sighs* i dont know why fate is playin such a big joke on me...

should i stay or should i go...

mood: worried
listening to: Bananarama- I want you back.

My Profile

[ ] -- Leo 陈思泽 --
[ ] -- 21st August 1985 --
[ ] -- Leo --
[ ] -- Sports Science Student --
[ ] -- FreshBox Crew --

Loves

[ ] -- Mambo --
[ ] -- Soccer --
[ ] -- Penchant For Nice Music --
[ ] -- FreshBox --
[*new!*] -- photography --

Disclaimer

All pics are taken personally and belongs to blog author. Please request permission prior to duplicating the picture.

Now Playing

[ ] 林峰-爱不疚

Music Playlist at MixPod.com