Tuesday, August 30, 2005 >>

just read someone's blog... realised that maybe somethings are better off not rushed into...
i have very bad days recently...
im very stressed up with work...
with some things...
only when attachment finishes can i really get away...
honestly i just wanna be so alone...
Friends tell me that to feel okay.. i need friends...i need loved ones...
i dunno.. its true.. i need them..
sometimes too affected when i dont feel their attention? hur hur..
i dont know...
i dont like to act like im happy and im glad.
i admitted i drank last nite. I drank lots too.. i was tipsy... i couldnt stay up.. to watch the
United vs Newcastle game
i couldnt talk to the usual ppl i talk to online.
J msged me when he was back from HK
i am down.
i need that special person.
i need time to cool down.
i dont feel good.
period.

mood: very down
Listening to: Kelly Clarkson- Because Of You



Wednesday, August 24, 2005 >> beachday, birthday

hmm... long time never update le.. here to update more..
oooo
Friday came home from work.
Saw a letter on my computer table.
opened it.
Surprise!!!! was a birthday card that angela sent to me from Australia.
heee *grins* shooo nice...
thanx... heeee

well.. Saturday midnite angela called me at midnite to wish me happy birthday.. hee.. so happy...

Sunday!!!! Beachday...
hmm what can i say? it rained....
but nevertheless we waited till rain almost stop then we started playin again!!!!
haha
well .. had fun playin vball till quite late lo... bathed and went for dinna at harbourfront...
peeps who were there were...
Yong, Sen, Sam, Junsheng, Dingsheng, Weiguang, Adeline, Jiahui, me, Adrian, Jeffrey.
Sherrie and Levine girl didnt come =(
hee....
well reached home quite late about 9 plus gonna 10 pm le.... washed up again..and go rest.
about 11 received a call from levine girl. She called me and told me she was downstairs @ my house. hmm i was surprised. so i went down.. saw her..she bought cake for me!!!!
heeee *grins* sooooo touched.. lol... and happy too... she said "i came before 12 am hor! " hahaha
so cute... thanx girl... heeee....
will post up the pics soon... heee =)

mood: great
Listening to: Dishwalla- Angels and Devils



Saturday, August 20, 2005 >>

haha...
find it such a joke.....
someone actually posted a blog entry like mine.....
tokin about all those shit... wad a joke... lol...
true what that person said...
it isnt even significant whether ya're there or not...
empty tok and promises are of no use... well
what can i say?

anyway...regardin to my previous post
to yangs: sorry i forgot... hee... thanx to you too alot.. for helpin me up when im feelin down.. although many things i cant say.. but u were there...enjoy our 4 weeks of mambo dancing hahahah fun yar? lol heeeeee

hmm was quite worried last nite for angela...she isnt feeling well..but yet couldnt slp.... and i was so tired....felt a lil guilty.....cannot accompany her..sorry okie? hee
im goin to go bathe and change le...byee

mood: lazy
listening to : Rick Astley- never gonna give you up



Sunday, August 14, 2005 >>

hey peeps...
i dont know wat to say recently......
guess things not been fine...but im tryin my best to pick myself up

to eddy: its been nice chattin with ya recently... and i hope u are okay... things arent goin well for u right now...but it will... trust me.... oh yar! tmr i wont go soccer if u see this... and oh yaR! Happy 20th Birthday.... hee...

to diana: hey rasp! haha... thanx for ur email... missed chattin with you..and bitchin around lol...remember the old times..? yar anyway enjoy your bangkok trip with king yar?!

to Cloney: hey cloney..... how are ya gettin along? pls take care of yourself in hong kong okie? heee cant wait to hear from you soon...

to Adrian: f you.. haha( Just Kidding )

to Gary: hey my dearest buddy.... its been great to see u and thomas today... really love th times we used to spend together but less now becos we're all busy ... but we will still keep in touch like always... tok kok... hope to be in the SAFsa team with ya okie? hahaha oh yar work hard for ur exams ah... kk...

to Angela: hmm well... all i wanna say is.. its been a week of frustrations for hte both of us.... although i cant be there now... all i can say is... im always around... u can find me to tok online... or can call me orite..... i will always be there for ya.. u know that...

to the Beach Gang: harlo! i miss u peeps...5 weeks i've not been at the beach le.... im so fair now... but im gonna go tmr and haf a smackin good time! hehe......NEXT TEAM!!!!

to Sherrie, Jesso, Jeremy, Adrian and Angela: thanx for ur pressie. it came earli and im surprised.. shy also.. its been so many years i havent received a gift...and you guys came up with one.. thanx alot yar... muacks.... i love u guys.... thanx alot...

ok .. im gonna stop here.... mental block already....

mood: heeee
Listening to: Roxette- Vulnerable



Friday, August 12, 2005 >>

sighs.

i feel so unimportant... so nt needed...
'nuff said.

cloney went off yest.
she went off to hongkong.
although i really wanted to send her off.. but nah its okay since she doesnt want .
she called me just b4 she left... told me to take care n stuff.
felt down yest.
shes been such a sweetie ever since she came back.
thats y shes my clone. we're both sweet ppl. lol
but she's been there for me. Although she didnt say much, just being there helps.

had a nice chat with gary the other day again.. i think it was National day. meaning tuesday lar. haha... omg so long we didnt catch up with each other i realised... but we're still keen on studyin together. At least having someone u know studying with u not only gifs u motivation, also lets u enjoy studying life. Can discuss, crap together. hur hur...cant wait..

The days r tickin away.. and i cant wait... :X

listening to : Roxette- Vulnerable
mood : crappy n lazy



Tuesday, August 09, 2005 >> down times...

im feeling down...
why do i feel so affected by it...
why till now still cannot.... =(

gary is feeling down at the moment..
he's having tough times at payar lebar...
i feel down too.. i cant be there for him...
thru' out our soccer career,
right from Saf, to Gombak, to Jurong im always with him...
we share problems together... but now?
he's alone and i quit Ngee ann...
why...

god is so unfair to us..
all we ask for is to have a smooth sailing "career"..
i cant say what i wish for but i hope that will come soon...

mood: help me.
Listening to : David Tan- Till The End



>>

心很空　天很大　云很重
我恨孤独　却赶不走
捧着她的名字　她喜怒哀乐
往前走　多久了

一个人心中只有一个宝贝
久了之后　她变成了眼泪
泪一滴在左手　凝固成为寂寞
往回看　有什么

那女孩对我说　(说我)保护她的梦
说这个世界　对她这样的不多
她渐渐忘了我　但是她并不晓得
遍体麟伤的我　一天也没再爱过
那女孩对我说　说我是一个小偷
偷她的回忆　塞进我的脑海中
我不需要自由　只想背着她的梦
一步步向前走　她给的永远　不重



Sunday, August 07, 2005 >> angry..... upset...tired ..... happy

feelings.....
i haf all of them on one nite... why
i'll start with.....
angry
firstly... there are certain things i cant say.... there are rumours spreadin about angela... and im angry... dont understand why certain ppl can keep hurting her.. wont u fuckers just stop doing things to hurt her??? just fuck urselfs out of our lives will ya..... u fuckers better not let me know who started it..... esp u ... u fuckin puss...i hate enuff of your fucked up antics... stop tryin to gain pity now... cos i fuckin dont trust u after u had hurt her.. and yes this is directing at u...
and to the other fucker.... if u dare do anything to her.. watch out..cos i'll shave away ur hair and make u a ball for me to kick around with... i'll never let anybody hurt her.... i promised her already... so dont let me find out ... dont... by then.. be prepared to run.... be so prepared... and also fast.

upset
when i heard about it.... i broke down.. in front of her.... she keep askin me what happened... ask me not to push her away.. ask me to share it with her... i just couldnt tell her i knew about it... i broke down cos... i was so upset...why these ppl keep tryin to hurt her.... she was calm.. but i wasnt.. it was too much for me to take....i didnt want her to feel down anymore..... so overall that nite wasnt a good nite at all for me... for her.... and we had a small quarrel..... but i hope she understands that all i've done for her its becos i nv wanna see her shed a tear over anyone who isnt worth her time, her tears anymore.

tired
've been very tired recently.... i always cant sleep. if i do..i slp very early and wake up in the wee hours of the morning.. I haf also got myself into a situation that i wake up and go to the toilet to shit.. and end up feelin so awake n i just cant slp anymore.... i know i look like shit now... eyebags are coming out.. so bad... sighs! i need to slp lol.. but its been okay since im always talkin to her...

happy
i've nv felt happier. She told me," no matter what you did, i'll forgive you. Just dont leave my side. Cos i'll stand by you. always" i melted. Rie told me that rships are always built on trust. to even begin with, there should be trust. i trust her 100%. mayb even more.... so u ppl try harder if ya wanna make me not trust her okay? oh im goin to mel soon i guess to look for her. she wants me there after my attachment and i cant wait to put my name on the boardin pass. cant wait for the day i walk into the departure hall , into the plane and out of the arrival hall into her arms. My Birthday is coming and although i know she wont be around to help me celebrate but this will be my biggest and happiest present to receive... i know i will get it too heeeeee...

Angela
i dont know wat to say. I trust u okay. Dont worry. we'll all be here for u. Although u said that i may not be mature enought to handle this situation. Let me tell u, i know what im doing. I still wont allow anyone to bully you, you hear me. About ur financial situation, i will talk to mom soon and give ya an answer asap okie. I wanna say dont worry okie.I want you to enjoy your studyin days in melbourne wihtout worryin. take your mind off all these shity things yar? Erm.. anything u can always call me or msn me. i will always be there im sure u know by now. I will always be there.

take care, always
LeO

mood: as above
Listening to: Jay Zhou Jie Lun- Yi Lu Xiang Bei

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