everythin i do...
i do it for u...
mood: =)
Listening to: Bryan Adams- Everything i do(i do it for u)
fisherman's fren: leo ranted @
10:00 AM
10:00 AM
Saturday, March 22, 2008 >> the tot of dying..
sometimes...
you jus wished that u can jus die... n nt think of anything..
no troubles....
im nt sayin suicide...but rather u wished that something happen to u...
im nt suicidal.. dont worry... jus occasionally think that mayb i shudnt even exist..
i really wanna leave here... and start of somewhere...no choice.. think i gotta finish my degree...
once i finish my deg..i may most likely ask to stay else where... maybe Perth..maybe somewhere else....
went for mambo on wednesday...
it was huiqing's bday... and many of the regulars were there...those that i havent seen for a long time.... michelle went... bon went too....
i had fun nevertheless... but it was different....
i knw the reason and i aint saying... =X
thurs was nt a gd day..
dun knw why i became so short fused....
but i was frustrated... i knw that im nt tat bad... but i cant help but feel inferior at times.... and when i feel that im being compared(it may be out of oversensitivity) i become defensive, fed up and short tempered....i start to be aggresive cos thats the only way i can hide my innermost feeling of inferiority and low confidence...
Thought of a lot of things.. and was v stressed up with studies... Dad asked me " hw do u think u can be better than the others in ur class?"
Seriously.... FUCK LA.... hw the hell do u want me to answer u... that ur son is fucked up and he cant be better? that ur son needs fuckin 2x more time than others to retain the same amount of info in his brain???
i have alot of problems already...cant u fuckin see im tryin to do my best? im tryin to handle so many things.. that i've become crazy.. i think i need a fuckin shrink. why do u want to give me unnecessary stress?? im trying... WHY Does Nobody knws IM FUCKING TRYIN MY BEST IN EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!
you never gave me encouragements...
you rant at me for doing things nt up to ur standard......
what is ur standard?
The mess i am today....is ur fuckin fault... from young till nw.. i never once bounced back... becos of u... u never gave me the encouragement that a young boy needs to get his feet back onto firm ground...
i gt so frustrated that i went for a run at 1 am.... sorry that i had to worry sum1.... but i ran 7km.... i didnt knw where i had the energy to...im usually v lazy ... 3 or 4 km and im quits.. but i ran the whole 7 km... without stopping...and ended up super wet... almost blacked out after that... it didnt help that i had to run into 4 wild dogs that chased me along the way... till i was too fast for them....
end of the day.... what did i achieve...NTH... i wanted to study summore after the run...but i was too fuckin tired.. that i slpt till this morning...so ya here i am...
mood: lousy
Listening to: Sylvester Sim- Xi Wang(Hope)
fisherman's fren: leo ranted @
2:23 PM
2:23 PM
Thursday, March 13, 2008 >> cross my heart
Hypnotised, with just one look at you,
I'm paralysed
I can't explain why just one touch of you
Drives me insane
You've got me head over heels
You better believe it
Baby, and I know how it feels
Cross my heart
Hope to die
May lightning strike me if I'm telling a lie
Cross my heart
I swear it's true
I've never loved anyone more than I'm loving you
Cross my heart, it's true
Heavenly, Something happens when you're next to me
I get chills
You can ask me anything and baby I will
You've got me out of control
You better believe it
Baby from my head down to my toes
Cross my heart
Hope to die
May lightning strike me if I'm telling a lie
Cross my heart
I swear it's true
I've never loved anyone like I'm loving you
Cross my heart, it's true
You're my valentine every month of the year
Baby really shine I'm so happy when you're here
I want you all the time
Am I making myself clear
My love's gonna last forever
haha anyway... some pics from Brandon n Dorothy's weddin... hehe.. =)
me with my lil sis!!! hehe smart eh??
me with my nephew, Rayner.
today no go mambo... rest hehe..
next week ah...
mood: sian
Listening to: Eighth Wonder- Cross my heart
fisherman's fren: leo ranted @
1:20 PM
1:20 PM
Wednesday, March 05, 2008 >> useless me...
although someone told me that im nt useless..
i decided to blog bout this incident to get the frustrations out...
why issit that if i forgot to do smth makes me a procrastinator?
why issit that i ever failed once, im deemed a failure?
why issit that the failure does smth to prove he isnt, he's still a failure?
why issit no matter what he does, its jus not right?
what does it say about that person? numbskull?
sigh..
why cant he give me encouragements?
why cant he be more supportive of me?
why cant he nt be so negative bout me?
why...
fathers are nt supposed to discourage..
fathers are supposed to support n encourage...
fathers are role models..
fathers are ppl whom sons look up to...
FUCK LA
mood: low confidence.
Listening to: V6- change the world
fisherman's fren: leo ranted @
4:08 PM
4:08 PM
Tuesday, March 04, 2008 >> sighs.
have you people actually felt ur hearts sank before?
i did..
and it hurts alot... so much...
sighs.. i was havin a good talk with someone...
and i realised why some ppl can be so ANAL...
why do they have to change wat you say..
why
why cant they tell the real things instead??
i've learn to not believe in anal ppl already..
i try to not believe in ppl... and keep to myself ..
i think its takin a toll on me...
on the brighter side...
im going to ORD reallly soon!!!!
*smells freedom*
started on my lessons already and im really stressed up leh...
jus hope i can do well...
*love love*
mood: sian..
Listening to: Maroon 5- This Love
fisherman's fren: leo ranted @
2:30 PM
2:30 PM
